The Story of Maxine and Her Family (Formerly 'Project Malachi')

Maxine Moved to Ethiopia

2009-01-12T10:33:00.000-08:00

Well, Maxine's family moved to Ethiopia for 2 years. The government of Ethiopia blocks Blogger so, Maxine's parents had to start a new website: http://web.me.com/ilkawallace

Before she left Tucson, Maxine's Auntie Lisa wrote her a song which she performed with Uncle Ted, Ben and Henry. Below is

"Ode to Maxine"

Maxine, Maxine... we don't want you to go
Leaving us is worse than the economy's new low
We will miss your little Miss Piggy face
Which would come in handy as we watch our nation's presidential race
we will send you letters and skype
Check our emails every night
We will think of you day by day
Imagining you sprouting tall
Waiting to hear the words you will say
So grow under the African sun
Learn how to zip, zoom and run
At night we will look at the moon
And know that on the other side of the globe
The same ray's are shining into your room.

This time last year...

2008-10-18T20:36:00.000-07:00

Maxine was not reading and her cloth diapers were not leaking (see the wet spots on her pants?)... now she loves books and we are working on the leaking-thing. I believe she has graduated to the category of "super soaker" and we have ordered hemp inserts to try and remedy the situation. Back to the books, she loves reading, turning the pages and pointing at pictures. The other day I held up a magazine with the picture of a woman's face on it and she pointed at the woman's mouth and then touched her own. Maxine is so smart!

This time last year Maxine was eating every 2 to 3 hours and she was sleeping in our room. To make it easier for us we just put her in the travel bed between us. We called this period the "Bento Box Days".

The photo above is a shout out to our Nepal friends. Not only does Maxine eat rice with her hands like any Nepali babe her age, she can sort the rocks out of rice like no other... she even has the squat down. So proud...

We have been in a whirlwind preparing for the move to Ethiopia... we leave for DC one week from tomorrow. Maxine had 5 vaccinations on Thursday and it was terrible. She had a super high fever, felt terrible and thought we were trying to give her shots every time we tried to take her temp. Yesterday I was out of town and Ben ended up taking her to the ER because she had a temp of 104! We now know that is apparently "normal" or "okay" for a baby because their metabolisms are much faster and she has had so many vaccinations to make her immune system work extra hard. However, we were freaking out because one of the shots she had was yellow fever and it can have scary side effects for young kids (like under 4 months but we were still worried... despite all of the professional medical advice we received telling us it was not going to be a risk). She is still having a fever but she is so much better today.

She Walks!

2008-10-04T17:10:00.001-07:00

On Friday September 26, 2008, Maxine took 8 consecutive steps without any assistance! Since then she has been taking 1 or 2 steps hear or there. Maxine refuses to walk if we try to get her to walk - for instance, when we stand her up to walk to something or someone she wants. Her reaction is to make her body dead weight in your arms or to fall to her knees in a dramatic manner. Over the past two days I have learned that the best way to get her to walk is to ignore what she is doing when she starts standing. She has done me the honor of taking 9 to 10 steps and then today she took 19 in front of her Grandma Gerry, Dad and myself! We just acted natural while she walked across the front porch during our VERY SUCCESSFUL yard sale.

Maxine's walking can truly be credited to the great group of friends that joined us at the cabin for Ben's birthday. Kelly, Alicia, Christof, and Patrick cheered Maxine to those fantastic 8 steps. Above is a picture of Kelly luring Maxine across the floor.

Maxine, Rana, Ben, and I went to the cabin for 5 days. This trip was to celebrate Ben's birthday. But, when we discovered we are moving to Ethiopia it was also to soak up the cabin and its wonderful-ness because we don't know when we will be back to it. So, we went fishing and I caught the first fish of the weekend...

The second day our friends, "The Ericksons," came up to the cabin and went fishing with us. They are Alicia, Christof, Isaac, Eva and Atlas.

Maxine slept through the first part of the outing...

Then, Maxine's dad became the angler he always claimed and caught an 18 inch trout! Favorite quotes, after we finished squealing, were, "Now I know what it feels like to dominate another species," and, "Isn't there a lake near Addis Ababa?" The fishing banter was fun and the trout was tasty...

While the adults laughed, ate trout, enjoyed stories about Patrick (Evie's Dad) and drank from Ben's birthday pony-keg, Maxine LOVED playing with Evie, Eva and Isaac!

It was such a wonderful weekend and we were very sad to leave the cabin. Visiting with the Ericksons and Lacroix's was so wonderful, too.

As Maxine has become more mobile we are discovering what she loves. For instance, she loves Rana, the Park, swings and sand. I think we can sum it up to animals, being outside and experiencing different textures. My friend Alicia, mother of 3, told me to give Maxine different gooey things, wet things, beans, rocks, sand, etc so she can play with textures. It is true. She LOVES the simplest things! Who needs the plastic fake cell phone - that she loves, too? Satisfying her right now is very easy!

Maxine is 1 year and 2 weeks and she is still breastfeeding. I am so thrilled that I am not pumping and am okay with her breastfeeding, for now. She breastfeeds in the morning and evening. We have given her some whole milk but she prefers the boob. So many people I know have children that self-weaned but Maxine is dedicated to the boob. Some kids have a safety blanket or stuffed animal they hold near but Maxine has the boob. She is always sticking her hand down my shirt and grabbing my nipples. She does this anywhere, anytime and for as long as I let her. Weaning is going to be difficult. The only reason I haven't done it yet is because we are waiting to see the milk situation in Ethiopia. I have to say, for those of you who need to relate or those that are pregnant and need something to look forward to, my breasts have reached what some call "The Chicken Cutlet Stage." Yeah, the big boob honeymoon is over... they are smaller, deflated and as close to some of the shirtless older Nepali women they have ever been.What happens after the second child??? Anyone? Anyone?

There are so many other things happening to my body that I intend to share. Unfortunately, I doubt many people have made it this far in this LONG entry. Stay tuned for more on my belly button, menstration after 1 year post-birth, incontinence, and emotions/hormones.

First Birthday

2008-09-17T21:56:00.000-07:00

Today was Maxine's first birthday. I now understand that at every one of my birthdays my mother relives my birth. What it was like, what I was doing at each time of day, what she ate, what it felt like (emotionally and physically). It started yesterday with me telling Ben, "This time last year I was drinking castor oil mixed with frozen orange juice and vanilla ice cream." Then Maxine had a nightmare at 2:20 am and as I rocked her back to sleep I told her how at that time last year we were getting ready to go to the birth center because my labor was becoming more painful (I laugh at it now... THAT wasn't the painful part!). Then, we woke up at 6:00 am and I told her that I was pushing at that point. Then, at 7:59 am we played Maxine her first song that she ever heard "Lay Lady Lay" by Bob Dylan. I took the afternoon off and we went to the zoo. A sweet 5.5 year old and her grandmother sang happy birthday to Maxine. We had a get together at the park in the evening with Maxine's friends Evie, Edie, Zev, Isaac, Eva, and Atlas. Maxine was so excited to see all of the kids that she spent the entire time practicing walking with her little lion walker... I caught the few interactions with people below...

Last Saturday we had a family party for Maxine. Grandma Gerry hosted with Auntie Lisa making a cupcake-shaped chocolate cake and a tower of cupcakes for Maxine. Grandma and Grandpa Wallace, Uncle Nick, Uncle Ted, Cousin Ben, and Cousin Henry were there to celebrate, as well. It was her first cake and the sugar high was awesome! She did everything she knows how to do ultra fast... clap, clap, bounce bounce, bark bark, screech screech... and then start over again. It was pretty cute. I got all emotional as I walked out of the kitchen with the candle lit singing.. she just sat there wide-eyed wondering what was going on and why was everyone singing... ahhhh, hormones and motherhood.

The past year has been totally not what I expected and absolutely wonderful. Maxine is such a happy, laid back baby. She has a fantastic smile and sense of humor. I can't wait for what the next year will bring us... she is full of surprises!

I am very overdo on an update. I will write more soon but here is a synposis of the past three months:
Maxine started crawling the week after the post below. She has three teeth 2 bottom front and 1 top front. She stands on her own and walks holding our hands or with her walker. She barks... we are so proud... she plays chase with us (she is a very fast crawler) and tries to play chase with Rana but Rana just sighs and goes into the other room. She loves books and we think she is saying "fish"but it sounds more like, "Shishhhh". She also can climb very well... onto our bed, onto the couch, into the dryer... gettin down has not yet been mastered, yet.

I will be updating regularly now. We have had a full few months because of travel, work, and we just found out we are moving to Ethiopia! So, I will post more photos and give an update on how Maxine weathers the preparing for a move around the world and the ACTUAL move...

Working Mother of 9 Month Old 'Significantly Sleep-Deprived"

2008-06-07T14:10:00.000-07:00

I have been researching ways to increase my energy level because I have been so tired. I was thinking that I could make some dietary changes, etc. I took a sleep test to get advice on Shape Magazine's website and the results are hilarious:

"Your answers to the Epworth Sleepiness Test indicate you may be significantly sleep-deprived. You may wish to consult with your physician to discuss futher investigation."

Points for Sharing

2008-05-29T14:43:00.000-07:00

Will Maxine crawl? Will she talk? Will she walk? Will she choke on the food we are giving her? And, most importantly, when will she dance?

Ben and I had date night #2 on Friday. Uncle Ted scored us great tickets to the Cowboy Junkies concert. They were great, I had a wonderful mojito, and Ben and I got to ride our bikes downtown. All good things. The lead singer of the band kept going back stage during the concert... just walking off... and I was joking with Ben that she was going back there to throw up (no reason). But, at one point she mentioned that her 5 year old son was back stage and she was watching him sleep on the table back there with his teddy bear under his head for a pillow. Then she said, "All moms wonder if they are doing the right thing." This is the theme of the past several months for me and, from what I am learning, will be the theme of the rest of my life. Good thing to look forward to...

Maxine can push herself up onto her hands and knees. She does a fantastic plank and push up and, for all you yogis, her downward dog is pretty spot on. She scoots backwards, rolls, and climbs... but no crawl. Some predict she will go straight to walking since she spends so much time pulling herself up to a standing position. Many have told me that she can stand unattended for a few seconds but I hardly believe it.

Aside from toast, Maxine hates food. We have fed her bananas, pineapple, peas, squash, sweet potatoes, potatoes, green beans, kidney beans, rice cereal, pears, peaches, applesauce, yogurt, hummus... you name it, by the way she reacts, you'd think she hates it. However, I think she just wants to feed herself and not have everything mashed up. The most success has resulted from us letting her feed herself and suck on whatever we are eating. She sort of likes bananas sometimes... hummus, too. We were steaming her food and blending it but it became such a hassle for nothing. So, we have jarred baby food that we test on her daily. She likes toast (as you can see) and french fries... We are learning to become more lax about what we feed her. Her main subsistence is her all time favorite - breastmilk.

Maxine threw up for the first time a week ago. this was not any spit up, people. Full-on, Exorcist throw up. She was lying on her back and it came out of her with such force that i swear it shot a foot above her before it fountained all over the bed... yes, my bed. She was napping next to me which means that it also fountained all over me. I was beside myself with worry, she didn't seem phased... once I got past what had happened I realized the awful mess that was all over myself, Maxine and the bed... and then I wondered how such a little creature could release so much fluid... why isn't she all shriveled up like a raisin? She is fine, I am fine, and the bed is fine...

The other night, like every night, I went into her room before I went to bed to make sure she was still breathing, etc (I know, psycho mom). As I stood there with my hand on her chest feeling for the up/down movement that indicates that my child is still alive, I thought to myself, "I can't believe we have managed to keep this child alive for 8 whole months! How are we going to do it for 18 more years?"

Longest Post Ever

2008-05-14T20:57:00.000-07:00

Well, this post is WAY overdue. Since my last post, Maxine has met most of her Peace Corps Nepal buddies and many of their babes, traveled to Mexico and met her cousins and Auntie Jeanne and Uncle Adam, started trying to crawl, had a tooth break through on her lower gum (right front), and traveled to Seattle to attend her first comic convention, have her first shared bath and see her very good friends Nicola, Kate, Anthony, Amanda and Tyler... Phew! So, here is the long and short of it ALL..

Peace Corps Nepal Visitors Head to the White Mountains

Amanda and Chris traveled from Brooklyn, the Gurungs traveled from Minnesota, and the Weisses traveled from Ohio. It was a blast. We love everyone and were so happy to see them all. Maxine LOVED the kids.

Auntie Konnie gave Maxine her first pedicure under the careful supervision of her son Shakti.

Auntie Amanda and Uncle Mukhiya have a way with kids. Everyone loved them. Mukhiya would just sweep any crying kid into his arms and they would immediately smile and coo at him. Auntie Amanda turned into the Pied Piper (is that how that is spelled) and always had an entourage of kids following her. She was definitely the "cool" one of the adults!

The men played dramatic games of horseshoes. I am not sure who won or if anyone actually did... but they were awlways perfecting their form. Uncle Adam worked hard to keep his crayon skills up... I think he was a bit intimidated by the in house artist (Maxine's dad, of course!).

The kids all got along so well. It was so much fun to see them play. We can't wait to throw Henry into the mix!

On the last day we all took family photos. I have to say the Brooklyn crew seemed to bring it more than the rest... see, they even have one of the entourage in there (I told you!).

There were also some pretty crazy leg wrestling matches. I, personally, am addicted and can't find anyone to train with... bummer. The moms all hid out in the upstairs closet with a bottle of wine... just like the good old days. On the way back to Tucson we stopped at a slot canyon and gave the crew a nice taste of some of the southwestern beauty. It was a great walk/hike and the scary rope/metal bridge was a perfect addition to our nepal reunion!

We were lucky to have the Weisses come a day early and the Gurungs to stay a few days late. It was so much fun and I can't believe it has already been a month since they left. We love you all!

MEXICO! Ole!

We left for Mexico the same day that the Gurungs left for home... we all packed up and drove away from our house at the same time. It was so nice to head straight for vacation # 2 so I didn't have to be too sad with an empty house. Maxine was fantastic on her first flight.

We stayed at a family-friendly all-inclusive resort south of Cancun. It was so gluttonous, relaxing, and wonderful. The rooms came equipped with cribs, changing tables, bottle sterilizers, baby bath robe (she looked like a little boxer in it), strollers... you name it! They had baby food on ice plus all of the food and drink you can imagine. It was overwhelming and perfect. They even had an included service where they would bathe your child for you - don't worry we did not take advantage... weird.

Maxine's cousins are Ande (10 years), Sophie (6 years), and Joe (1 month younger than Maxine). Joe is absolutely adorable and the girls were so good with both Maxine and Joe. Maxine was able to whip out her new skill of "picking on the youngest" that she learned from the Peace Corps kids. She never hesitated to pull Joe's pacifier out or pull him over. Joe was such a trooper.

We got Maxine a little lobster floaty to swim in. She loved the water. We took her down to the beacha nd the first thing she did was rub sand in her eyes. Awwwww.

We had so many laughs with the family and loved hanging out. It is always too long between our visits with one another.

When we got back from Cancun, I went to get Maxine ready for bed that first night and we noticed something shiny on her little mobile above her bed. As Ben looked closer he saw that there were little nails stuck to the magnets that hold the birds on her mobile. This suspicious find reminded me of the night before we left for Mexico and the Gurungs were still with us. Konnie and I found Shakti and Nayana standing in Maxine's crib. We didn't know what they were doing but Konnie still asked the kids, "Are you helping or hurting?" Nayana responded, "Helping." Shakti responded, "Hurting."

Bog Spring Trail

As you can see from the photo below that "spring" is a bit of a stretch. Luckily we hiked further and found a nice stream to have a picnic. Look closely... ben surprised me with a wine picnic! Yum... made for an interesting hike down.

Maxine Goes to Seattle!

Last weekend the three of us headed to maxine's first comic show in Seattle! We stayed with our good friends Nicola, Kate, and Anthony. Nicola is two weeks younger than Maxine. Her parents used to live next door to us in Tucson... as soon as they moved we all got pregnant... I still tear up when I see their old house (yes, every day!). We were so lucky to spend the whole weekend with Auntie Amanda and Uncle Tyler, too! Amanda and Tyler live 2 blocks from Kate and Anthony! It was so fun to hang out. As ou can see Maxine and Nica hit it off in the bath. Nica is a feisty lady... while Maxine hammed it up for the camera, Nica took Maxine down with the old "pull the back of the hair move" and then stole her pacifier. Luckily, Maxine loves the camera so much she wasn't phased at all. Thank you Kate, Anthony, Nica, Amanda and Tyler... it was so wonderful to see you.

Hiking and Shamrock Baby

2008-03-17T21:08:00.000-07:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Maxine's grandma Gerry is Irish and Ben just recently got his Irish citizenship... so, Maxine is Irish! Here is our little leprechaun with her shamrock plant and drink of choice...

We also finally broke in the baby back pack (Thank you Jilly!). We took Maxine on a hike and she LOVED it. If she wasn't asleep she was shrieking with joy up the canyon. Following are photos of her and her friend Evie on their big hike up Ventana Canyon to the Virgin Pools. This hike was also the final showing of Maxine's famous "Candy Cane Prisoner" outfit... so sorry it couldn't keep up with our growing babe.

GIANT!!!!

2008-03-11T10:13:00.000-07:00

If Maxine continues to grow at her current rate, by the time she is 20 years old she will weigh 408 lbs and be 21 feet 9 inches tall.

Bundh on the Bung

2008-02-27T11:07:00.001-08:00

Maxine is constipated. No other way to put it. The girl has not poo'd for 9 days now. Yes, I have called her doctor. This is actually the second long stretch of what we like to call "The Bundh on the Bung" (Bundh means "strike" in Nepali). The first time lasted 8 days. I called the doctor and spoke with his nurse. She told me that it is normal for some breastfed babies to go for long periods without a bowel movement. She said I should go home and put a tiny thermometer in her butt and see if I felt any solid poo... WHAT??? Um, YOU put the tiny thermometer in a 5 month old baby's butt, lady! Like, I want to deal with that - yeah, I have done that to dogs when I was at the humane society but I will not do this to my daughter. Imagine the trauma! Talk about crying for 45 minutes. So, the nurse offered me an alternative. I can mix Dark Karo Syrup in water and that should help. So, I went home and figured I would discuss our option (notice it is not plural). That night she poo'd her first post-solid food poo. Whew! It stank! I didn't realize that consistency, color, and SMELL change with the introduction of solid foods. It smells so bad that I would consider breastfeeding until she is potty trained just to avoid having to touch it again... too late, though. She is permanently altered. Anyway, so, now the Bundh on the Bung has lasted 9 days and we are going to try the Dark Karo Syrup and I am going to try eating more fiber. I'll keep you posted...

In other news... Drum roll... Maxine has now added mashed bananas, mashed peas, mashed pears and rice cereal to her diet! Ben and I were so excited to introduce solids and were convinced that all of her tracking our forks from plate to mouth and grabbing at our food were signs that she was ready for the leap into new flavors and solid poo! We got her all dressed up in a cutie-patootie outfit, mashed some bananas (thanks for the masher Gurungs!), and put her in her new high chair. We got out the camera because, of course, this is what she has been waiting for and it will be ground shaking. I mean, she will be so happy! Above is the photo of her being fed for the first time (other than breastmilk)... one word can describe this event: "anticlimatic". She actually cringed and then gave us a look that VERY OBVIOUSLY said, "What is that and why the HELL did you give that to me?" We thought that maybe she just doesn't like bananas... but we have since learned that she pretty much reacts that way to everything we have given her. Pears had the most positive-like response. Luckily, no tears over any of the foods. Just good old-fashioned rejection. She just sort of avoids the spoon and looks at us like, "You totally don't understand. I want mom's beer. Not this crap." - she does like to smell my beer and always reaches for the bottle and tries to put her mouth on the top... scary and we can all worry now about what Ben and I have in store for ourselves.

Finally, we have started "sleep training". The idea of this is to teach her how to fall asleep unassisted (i.e. not on the boob). I am hesitant to say we are using the Ferber method even though many have told us we are. I prefer to call it "The Broadman Method" after my pediatrician friend that told me about it. She is Maxine's good friend "Nicola's" mom. So, we have started a "routine". Nica's mom told me that the first two nights the average baby will cry for 45 minutes, 3rd night 20 minutes and then they sleep. So, I feed Maxine then when she is relaxed but not asleep we put her in her sleep sack and read her a book. Then we put her in her bed and say sweet things to her (important to try and say the same things to her so she associates them with time for sleep) and then leave. Then, if she cries, we let her cry for 5 minutes and then can go in and say sweet things to her - never pick her up. So, the first two nights she cried for exactly 45 minutes. Really... exactly 45 minutes. Then the 3rd night 10 minutes. Now she may cry for less than 5 minutes or not at all. It is hard but I think that, in the long run, it will be helpful because she will know how to sleep on her own.

Breastfeeding, Pumping, Diapers, Childcare and Working: How it is Going

2008-02-05T06:23:00.000-08:00

Well, since I have failed at making a "baby book" for Maxine I have decided that this is it. Perhaps I will print it out and put it in a binder for her or something like that. This is definitely a more "resource-efficient" way to record Maxine (and share with others!).

I think it is important to provide an update on how breastfeeding, pumping, diapers, childcare and working are going.

Breastfeeding:
The only things that Maxine has purposely consumed are breastmilk, baby tylenol and vitamins - there has been the occasional bath water and pet hair, too. I have worked hard to keep this going for this long. As you know, I went back to work when she was 6 weeks old and have had to pump in order to satisfy her appetite. My sister is a lactation consultant and has explained to me that nothing is as efficient as a baby in getting breastmilk out of a breast. There are two hormones that are released that cause the milk to let down and only one can be triggered easily without the baby. So, what this means is I can't get as much out in one sitting of pumping as Maxine would in one sitting of breastfeeding. So, after many trials and errors and stresses I have figured out the schedule that produces enough milk for Maxine. Following is my schedule:

5:15 am wake up, pump and then go work out (I am already awake)
6:45 am Get home, shower, eat breakfast, hang out with Maxine and breastfeed
8:15 or 8:30 am leave for work
10:30 am pump
12:45 pm pump
3:30 pm pump
4:45 pm go home and hang out with Maxine, eat dinner and breastfeed
7;45 pm/8:00 pm Maxine goes to sleep
9:00 pm get ready for bed, pump and go to sleep
11:00 pm - 4:00 am Maxine wakes up (usually only once) to breastfeed for anywhere between 11 and 45 minutes

Phew! It is a regimen that, if I fail to follow, we run the risk of low supplies! The doctor says that if I can make it to 6 months that is perfect and anything after that is great. I have read that children breastfed between 7 mos and a year (or longer) tend to have higher IQs (my friends Kelly and Amanda must just blow the researchers because they are brilliant and were formula-fed. Go figure?) Well, right now breastmilk is cheaper and I feel like I am doing a good thing. I am shooting for a year. We will start introducing solids at 6 months so that may offer some relief (except the rice cereal needs to be mixed with breastmilk or formula - ack!!!!)
Also, we are feeding Maxine the pumped milk with a Born Free bottle which is Bisphenol-A free. We also bought medical-grade plastic, bisphenol-a free freezer trays to freeze the milk in 1 oz sticks. I wear this little zip up tube top with holes where my boobs are so I can pump hands free. It really streamlines the process!

Diapers:
Ben and I chose to use cloth diapers. We are using fuzzi bunz and wash them at home. I researched whether cloth diapers would be more resource efficient than "biodegradable" diapers. The arguments are strong for both sides and we ultimately decided on the cloth diapers. We then researched whether to use a service or wash our own and decided the carbon footprint would be less with washing on our own. My mother-in-law has started an online magazine called "Connections for Women" and asked me to write an article on cloth vs. disposable diapers. Here is the link to the article if you are interested in knowing more about our decision and facts supporting it: http://www.connectionsforwomen.com/article_details.php?article_id=200&cat=5

Childcare:
Ben and I are very lucky to have his mom and my parents living in the same town. My mom has been coming twice a week to hang out with Maxine for 5 hours each day so Ben can work. His mom watches Maxine at least once a week. Otherwise, Ben is Mr. Mom. So far, it seems to be going very well. He gets a lot of work done when one of the grandmas are helping and even sometimes when he is alone with Maxine - of course, there are days that Maxine doesn't want him to work. Ben seems to be loving this, too.

Working
Well, I think that 6 weeks is too early to go back to work. I think it was hard on all three of us. If I were to do it over again I would for sure wait until she was 2 months or, even better, 3 months. 3 months would have been the ideal time to return to work. But, that didn't happen and I am not regretting because I feel like Maxine and I have a strong bond regardless. She knows who I am and we spend mornings, nights and weekends together. We laugh and play and eat together. I also think that I am setting a strong example for her as a working mother. I know she doesn't know right now but in the future she will see her mother working and being a leader. I think the Ben and I offer a great balance for her. I hope she will start dabbling in art with her dad while he works. What a great experience to see an office-working parent and an artist-parent. I can't wait to see how she develops into her own individual with all of these influences.

Welcome to the World Henry Clarence Smith!

2008-02-02T07:13:00.001-08:00

Our wonderful friends, Martha and Ryan, gave birth to a healthy boy on January 31st in Bangkok, Thailand! Congratulations! Maxine can't wait to share her toys with Henry. We love the three of you!

Uncle Tyler and Auntie Amanda Come to Visit

2008-01-31T06:08:00.001-08:00

Well, Maxine was ecstatic and very, very lucky that her Auntie Amanda and Uncle Tyler came to visit her this past weekend. Tyler and Amanda were with us in Indonesia when we discovered we were pregnant with Maxine. Now they are living in Washington State and decided to take a trip to meet the former "bun in the oven". We went on a short walk/hike ("hike is a bit of a stretch), ate Mexican food, went to yoga or running, played bocce, made homemade pizzas and visited an old ghost town. It was a REALLY wonderful visit and so great to see good friends. Did I mention we ate cheetos??? yum. Tyler and Amanda, thank you so much for coming. We miss you already!

97th Percentile: Maxine Ain't No Jelly bean

2008-01-23T16:51:00.000-08:00

Yes, Yes, Yes... Today I took Maxine to the doctor for her 4 month appointment. Looking back, my conversation in the waiting room foreshadowed her appointment. I, like any parent does, struck up a conversation with the Mother next to me. I asked her all of the usual questions a mother of a younger child does, "How old is your child? When did she start walking? Rolling? How do you keep her from getting into things?" You know. The other mother asked, "How old is your daughter? 9 months?" When I told her she was 4 months the mother said, "Geez!! She is BIG." My experience with children is very limited so I wouldn't know how big Maxine should be... especially because my other mom friends all have big kids, too. So, I smiled proudly (I don't know why I am proud I have a big kid... I just am) and went into Maxine's appointment. We quickly discovered that she is 26.25" and weighs 15 lbs and 11 oz. She is in the 97th percentile for her height and somewhere in the 90s for her weight... the 97th percentile sort of overshadowed the weight's pecentile. Oh, and she is, like, 99.9 percentile for cute.

For Martin Luther King Day weekend we all went to Santa Fe. Maxine's dad attended a two day discussion in Don Quixote and Maxine and I were fancy-pants tourists. We wandered throughout downtown and into the art galleries. Maxine was a super star, flashing her smile at everyone. People stopped all of the time to pinch her cheek and tell me how beautiful she is and how special they feel because she is smiling at them (I didn't mention the person ahead of them on the sidewalk that she made feel special, too). We ate amazing food - I swear Mew Mexican food is incredible. Ben went to college at St John's College, where the seminar was held, so we went to his favorite restaurant Horsemen's Haven. This is a cafe located next to a gas station and has the best, hottest green chili in Sant Fe.

I also feel that it is important, at 4 months, for me to provide a State of Maxine entry. Well, she is incredibly social and smiles at everyone. There are several Maxine smiles - the social one that all strangers are privileged to. There is the smile when she is happy to see someone close to her where she looks surprised and then smiles with her eyes, nose crinkles up and a big pen mouthed grin - the smile is so hard that it causes her to jam her face into whomever is holding her or her hands. It is almost a bashful reaction. She has a laughing smile where she kicks, punches and smiles with really hard and gasps - this is the smile that reminds me of her namesake, my Grandma Maxine. Unless you are a stranger, you have got to work for one of her smiles. Not that she isn't nice or is upset... she just needs a good reason to smile and you had better be funny or friendly... I sometimes work up a sweat just trying to get a smile - if you aren't funny, she just stares at your blankly. Having said that, I am certain she is a very nice, giving and thoughtful baby (okay, roll your eyes now) because she will be crying and so upset but if someone she loves comes into the room she will smile. Despite her misery she will smile and still have tears rolling down her face and then, after she has made you feel like a super star, she will return to her misery.

Maxine is also very observant. For instance, when I am breastfeeding her she will sometimes pull away and stare at me. She will look at my hair line, then my eyes, then my nose and mouth. She watches how I smile and what I say... without smiling or anything... just staring. She also watches us eat. This is pretty funny because she will look at the food and then follow it from the plate into our mouths - almost like she is starving and we are torturing her. Apparently, this is normal and I shouldn't give her my burrito.

Also, she is practicing all of these noises. She makes these gutteral moans... or screeches and gasps and sort of moans. All of which she thinks are totally normal and keep me smiling whenever I am around her... she sounds crazy, constipated, maniacal and gosh darn cute!

I am sure I have more on the State of Maxine but I have to go because her father just gave her a plastic grocery bag to play with (And I leave her with him all day!?). The photo below is Maxine and her parents standing next to her dad's piece of art, 1 of only 5 pieces out of 30 that sold at a silent auction fundraiser for an artist cooperative downtown. Yay Dad!!!

STOP World: Maxine rolls...

2008-01-16T17:14:00.000-08:00

Looking back, everything was unusual that day. The air was cooler than your average Arizona morning in January. Maxine awoke for her normal 6:45 am feeding but was alert and ready for the day rather than her usual need to sleep in. I, too, was alert and ready for the day and, instead of waking Ben so I could sleep more, I shut our door and decided to play with Maxine as the sun rose. She was perky and enjoying her play gymn so I chanced the usually dreaded tummy-time. She loved it. She was pushing up higher than I had seen her, laughing and yelling and rubbing her legs in a crawling motion. And then, I might have missed it if I had blinked she pushed up with her left arm and her left leg and WHOOOOSH! She was on her back. Yes, this past Saturday January 12, 2008 Maxine Alexandra rolled from her belly to her back. I quickly woke up Ben and told him and as he was getting up I went back to the play gymn and put her on her belly and BAM! Again! Ben ran in to see as I put her on her belly again and SHE DID NOT DO IT AGAIN. Yeah, luckily, Sunday morning she performed for Ben. Unfortunately for anyone else Maxine refuses... so, stay tuned for the day she chooses to share her new talent.

Maxine's First Christmas

2007-12-29T08:34:00.000-08:00

Well, Maxine went up to the White Mountains in Arizona to celebrate Christmas. Her cousins Ben and Henry were there... isn't this a great photo of the three of them? Maxine can't wait to have a photo of her and her cousins Ande, Sophie and Joey - they live in upstate New York.

As a good employee of a conservation organization, Maxine's mom helped cut down Maxine's first Christmas tree. The adventure of cutting it down was fantastic... probably not worth the guilt felt afterwards, though. Her dog Rana and her Uncle's dog Cash went. In July Rana woke up paralyzed due to a rupture disk. Maxine's parents prided themselves on having a $12 dog (Since her mom worked at the Humane Society they only made them pay for the license). The surgery after Rana's injury made her the $5000 dog... yes, she is now PEDIGREE. But, look at these photos... wasn't it worth it?!

Since the surgery Rana's back legs have taken on a mind of their own... when she skids to a hault hey usually fly past her head and they sort of run to a beat of their own. But, that doesn't stop her...

Okay, back to Maxine's mom teaching Maxine how important it is to protect the environment and reduce deforestation...

Maxine's FIRST Christmas tree!!!!!

Maxine loved Christmas. All of the attention from her Grandparents, cousins, Auntie and Uncle left her smiling all day long. She even got a new play mat!!! Fancy pants.

Earlier we posted a picture of Maxine screaming and hitting her Uncle Nick. They have obviously made up!

Christmas tired out Maxine and her mom. They needed a nap...

Maxine is currently sitting next to me as I type this. We have her in her pack and play. She is yelling and laughing and kicking her legs up. Any day now she will roll over... she is trying so hard. She loves her mobile at home. Since we didn't bring it her grandma gerry made one by sticking Christmas ornaments in a roll of wrapping paper and balancing it over her pak-n-play. I will post a picture of it soon... I am sure that her pediatrician would freak out. This is probably not the safest child toy...

The SMARTest baby!

2007-12-26T08:05:00.000-08:00

Maxine's first Christmas was wonderful! I am still putting together the post and will have photos up by the end of the week. I just had to share this picture with the bloggers. Isn't she SMART?! Aaaaawwwwwwwww.

I am thinking I need to write the 5 millionth book on pregnancy called "What really happens to you." Yes, this may be too much information, again... but, you know how they say that if a new mother is breastfeeding she can enjoy a long period of time menstrationless? Nonsense... 100% nonsense. I think there are myths out there so women will get pregnanct faster because there are all of these mythical "physical perks"... stay tuned... my book is a-comin'.

3 months and laughing!

2007-12-22T08:02:00.000-08:00

Oh my god... my daughter is adorable! I keep telling myself that I will tell her she is smart before I tell her how adorable and beautiful she is. But... she is so beautiful!

So, she has been moving and shaking so much. She is so close to rolling over! When we put her on her changing table she just moves and shoves and kicks... I left her in her crib the other day and when I returned her head was where her feet were when I left her!

Maxine's grandma Gerry is Ben's mom. This is a picture of the two of them together. The other photo is of Maxine and Nica - our good friends', Kate and Anthony, little girl. She is 3 weeks younger than Maxine. We went to Phoenix to visit Nica and Kate and maxine just stared and Nica! Now she stares at all babies and actually laughed for the first time one week ago when she say Evie! So adorable...I mean SMART.

Maxine hates her stroller. We try and trick her by getting her to sleep in it. What will we do with a fancy jogging stroller if she hates it????

Maxine's Dad's Navajo Code Talker coloring book was released this month and he did several signings. One at Barnes and Noble and the other at the Arizona Historical Society's book fair! It is selling a lot! His Caves coloring book also came out this month... if you are interested in it go to Barnes and Noble or buy it from his website... the link is at the right.

Physical therapy is pretty much over. I have to continue my exercises but I haven't peed myself in three weeks. Victory! I didn't mention this earlier but my therapist also found I had a but of a diastisis (?). My ab muscles had separated and she could fit two fingers between them (ew). So, I was told to stop sit ups and any yoga positions that stretch my abs because that will pull them further apart (ew, again). I have been doing some exercises to bring them back together. I can only fit one finger between them now so that is good news! I can't wait until I am normal again...

90th Percentile and Stress Incontinence

2007-11-24T09:14:00.000-08:00

Yes. As the title to this blog shows... birth is the gift that keeps on giving. I went for a run a few weeks ago and peed myself... I didn't know I had to go, it was just like my urethra opened up like a water slide. The midwife told me that it may be a one time thing and maybe running on the road because of the high impact did it. So, I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill. It felt great! I ran for 25 minutes then did some weights... it felt like I was back! When I got home I discovered that I had peed myself, soaked the overnight pad I had put on just in case (the ones that stretch from your belly button to your lower back). The stain on my pants was huge with a dry spot in the middle shaped like the pad. I am now in physical therapy... if anything else happens I may just need plain therapy. I go through thinking it is funny and not a big deal to being angry about everything that has happened (pregnancy to this). But, (prepare to roll your eyes and gag) one look at Maxine makes it all fade into the background... even the hemorrhoids (Was that too much?).

Maxine has been smiling so much. She is, most of the time, such a happy baby. Many of the following pictures re of her crying and yelling and I think we have taken those photos because they are so cute. But, in general, she is full of smiles. She crinkles her nose up and her eyes curve up into the shape of a rainbows. I can't wait to hear her laugh. She is so close... A week and a half ago she noticed her right hand for the first time. I was changing her diaper and she was totally quiet. I looked up and she was just staring at her fist like it just showed up right then! This past Wednesday she finally noticed the left hand and her expression read, "There is ANOTHER one?!"

Maxine went to her 2 month appt three days ago and got her shots (ow). She was weighed and measured and her head size and weight are in the 90th percentile (Martha and Ryan, you can now compare things to the size of Maxine's head, too... she takes after her momma). Her height is the 60th percentile. I asked the doctor if her weight being in the 90th percentile meant she is fat and he said, "There is no such thing as a fat baby." So diplomatic.

She has been doing a lot of tummy time (she sort of hates it). Her neck is getting so strong and I don't know what I will do whens she rolls over for the first time. Because she is starting to notice things more her grandma Gerry got her a mobile for her bed. We can now lay her down, totally awake, and she will just stare, smile and coo at the little fuzzy birds above her bed. So neat.

As you know, Ben is Mr. Mom. I have tried working from home as much as I can and when I do I get glimpses of Ben's and Maxine's day together... here is what I have observed.

So, Maxine had her first Halloween and she was going to be a little leopard. As you can see her costume was too small... probably because of that 90th percentile thing. Maxine also had her first Thanksgiving and it was hosted at her Grandma and Grandpa Wallace's home. It was so yummy. We have been visiting the cabin in the White Mountains regularly. The photo in the right upper corner is us there after we finally moved furniture into it. It is so cozy. And the bottom picture is of Uncle Nick and Maxine. He has such a way with children.

Grandpa Jim is so much fun. He plays with Maxine while she is on her Ikea mat playing and doing tummy time. He also loves to hold Maxine...

Maxine went to her first Day of the Dead parade the first weekend of November. Tucson really knows how to do it. I love the costumes, masks and floats. We went with Kelly, Patrick, Evie, Uncle Nick, Grandpa Jim and Grandma Chris. Next year maybe we will dress Maxine up and walk in the procession.

6 Weeks: Asleep and Smiling

2007-10-29T20:35:00.001-07:00

When Maxine sleeps I have seen her arms and legs pop up over the bassinet edge and just hang out there. When I go to see if she is awake she isn't... her legs and arms are just straight up in the air. Here are some photos of her sleeping... she looks like she is bring held up!

Maxine also has started smiling at us - she was smiling before but it was in her sleep or when she poo'd. Now she actually smiles AT US. It is adorable because she goes crossed eyed and gets this huge grin on her face. So cute.

I went back to work today. The worst part was the build up to going back to work. All this past weekend I was like, "I am not ready." I was getting worked up in the preparation with going back. This morning was tough because I didn't want to leave her and Ben. I pumped milk so Ben would have some fresh on top of the frozen milk I have stocked up. I breastfed and then I took off. Once I was in the car and making the familiar drive to work I was fine. Plus, there is so much going on that I didn't have much time to sit around and worry. Pumping and work was not too bad... helps that I have a lock on my office door. I called Ben and, of course, they were fine. I made it home for lunch and to breast feed - I want to breast feed as much as possible to avoid having to supplement with formula too early. I am not really planning to supplement but every working mom I have spoken with had to supplement after a while because they just didn't produce enough through pumping. So, I want to prolong having to do that... I informed the staff that I would be working from home more often than I normally would for the next 6 weeks (she will be 3 months then). I hope I am lucky and am able to provide only breastmilk for a very long time but I understand that I may have to do a combination in a few months... we will deal with that when it comes.

Hopefully, Maxine will continue to be such a good sleeper... she gets me up anywhere from 1 to 4 times night which is better than every hour! I am tired and have to think harder about what comes out of my mouth - sentence structure, etc - but today was doable and I think I had to get through today to understand that I can do it! Yep, we have moved on to a new phase - "Post-Maternity Leave." Stay tuned for stories on Ben being Mr. Mom...

5 Weeks Old!

2007-10-22T11:10:00.000-07:00

Maxine is 5 weeks today! We left 10 days ago for our "Baby Moon". We rented a house in Truth or Consequences New Mexico... the house was right on the Rio Grande with a private hot spring overlooking it. What better way to learn to take care of baby?? We still get little sleep but being someplace we can relax and enjoy our surroundings has been wonderful. Truth or Consequences is an unfortunate town with a lot of potential... luckily we had our little oasis and lacked the energy to really venture out. Our time was spent there taking care of baby, reading, fishing and soaking. So nice.
Now we are in the White Mountains in Arizona. Ben's mom just purchased this cabin. It is fantastic - not furnished yet - but fantastic! We have been sitting by the fire, watching the geese in the pond and the elk cross the valley... it is great. Tomorrow we return to Tucson and I will post more often. I have so much to write about and so little time to write in... in fact, I can hear Maxine waking and filling her diaper as I write... enjoy the photos (Ben and I were trying to teach Maxine to roll on to her belly and back...)

Memoirs of a Factory Cow

2007-10-11T21:11:00.000-07:00

So, I breastfed today and last night and yesterday and the night before... it's what I do. Last night was actually pretty awesome because she slept from 8:30 pm to 3:30 am - that is SIX hours! Of course, I was awake because my breasts had filled and were heavy and leaking and I was worried about why Maxine hadn't woken up to eat yet! Really, I breast feed and then if I want to work out or run an errand I have to leave immediately after the feeding and get my a** back to the house in an hour and a half or we run the risk of a serious hunger problem. I actually have started trying to pump in between feedings so there is milk stored for Ben to feed her if I don't make it back in time. Days I pump are all about the boobs... they are either in her mouth or hooked up to the machine. It has taken me a while (and several conversations with my lactation consultant sister) to understand that I won't run out of breast milk - I was worried if I pumped that i would be taking away from the next feeding. My sister has informed me that breasts produce based on demand. If they are asked to produce by baby or machine they produce (jeanne, did I get it right?). Yesterday she had a marathon feed - like 4 hours - and everyone says it was probably a "growth spurt"... my boobs were so sore. I have never been so aware of my breasts until now...
The pictures above of Maxine in the green diaper are her doing her morning exercises and interpretive dancing. These pictures were actually taken the Friday after she was born and I was so impressed with how active and happy she was - she was very focused on her moves. Little did I know she was working up her first Poo! It was memorable and LOUD! Nice job Maxine... good to know the pipes work. Since the first poo there have been many... I have seen them all.

34B to 36D (Booyakasha!)

2007-10-09T14:52:00.000-07:00

So, I have tried to sit down and update the blog with all of the photos we have been taking. I have learned, however, that parenthood means that you are lucky to get even 60% of what you intend completed in a day. The blog has suffered... I will be better.

Since Maxine was born we have had some pretty LARGE changes... my milk came in and I am now a 36D (whoop! whoop!), Maxine had her first bath - which she just LOVED, as you can see, we visited the Pediatrician and she gained 1 lb since milk started flowing, her sleep schedule bogglesthe mind and we just pray for her to continue with the 4 to 5 hour sleeps at night (last night was wonderful), Maxine has been out to three restaurants (yum!), her head and neck control are great, we have tummy time daily, and she already aced her SATs (Suckas!). Okay, she hasn't taken the SATs but she is absolutely adorable... she kicks and does exercises every morning (signature move: windmill arm). Her first poo was incredible... I mean, when the milk comes in and the newborn has its first milk poo it makes sure it is memorable. I had it on my arms and belly and side. It seems that anytime Maxine has a "Poo-splosion" I am the one on duty (or "Dooty" - hah). How has Ben so cleverly avoided the leaky poos?

I have also learned that I cannot dress my child... I was in tears I was laughing so hard at the "warm" outfit I threw on her for an evening walk... Blue Zoot pants, Canada hat and onesie - nice job, Mom.

Until I can figure out how to post pictures in between the text all of my entries will be this long list of photos. I will call my blog-genius friend Kelly to help me through this...

Castor Oil = Maxine

2007-09-18T15:04:00.000-07:00

So, the day I had my membranes swept Ben and I waited anxiously for the labor that never came. I was reaching 41 weeks (1 week past my due date) and would have to start having appointments at the hospital to do a non-stress test, amniotic fluid check and schedule and induction for Thursday 9/20. This is all absolutely not what I wanted but was becoming more and more resigned to it. So, in our last ditch effort to avoid the hospital procedure and potential medical intervention, I took castor oil on Sunday 9/16.

It was recommended by the midwife. If you take between 2 to 4 oz you will cause yourself to have diarrhea which can get the uterus contracting. Now, I was nervous about doing this and worried that it would be harmful, etc etc etc. We both researched castor oil and decided that so many people wouldn't swear by it and the midwife wouldn't recommend it if it was terribly dangerous. I just knew that I would have to be very conscious of staying hydrated. So, we mixed frozen orange juice and vanilla ice cream with 2 oz of castor oil. Anyone that believes that castor oil gives you horrible, severe diarrhea has never traveled to the developing world before! It was nothin'! I was laughing on the toilet because It was so pain-free and mild.

I had taken the castor oil at 8:00 am and by 6:00 pm I had completely flushed it out of my system and no contractions, of course. Oh well... we decided that it probably wasn't going to work but decided that i should take one more ounce and then just prepare for our hospital appointments the next morning. I had a little bit of diarrhea and then we went to bed at 10 pm.

I woke up at 11 with some contractions but it was nothing, I was sure, and went back to sleep. At midnight I woke to a painful contraction (I laugh at "painful" now) and was still convinced it was a false alarm like the contractions I had been having for the past week and a half. Nonetheless, I started timing them... they were 8 minutes apart. I decided to take a bath and see how and if they progressed. By 1:30 am I woke up Ben and told him I was having regular contractions and he got up with me to time them. By 2:30 am they were painful enough that I couldn't talk or walk during them and they were anywhere from 3 to 5.5 minutes apart. We decided to call the birth center.

We got there by 3:30 am and the midwife, Jenna, checked my cervix and it was 6 cm dialated! Only 4 more to go! I climbed into the tub and that is when they started getting really intense. I was holding onto Ben and the tub and my only relief was the few minutes between the contractions. That period is a godsend and if there is a name for that time I need to know it because it was what kept me sane. The contractions got so intense and painful that I just rested and focused on myself and staying quite, still and calm during the relief period. I was aware of people and conversations occurring around me but I couldn't participate and didn't respond to anyone or anything... was totally focused and I believe that is called "being in Laborland."

By 5 am, Bree (our friend from Peace Corps and nurse/midwife) checked my cervix and it was already dialated to 8 cm. This was amazing... I knew that my labor was progressing very quickly and that, even though I found myself considering it in my mind, I couldn't get meds because I was moving so fast. There was very little chance of a 24 hour labor or something else mammoth like that - to all the women that have had hours and hours of labor, you are rock stars.

Bree informed me that I had to urinate and I was so not wanting to get out of the tub but between contractions we moved me to the toilet where I urinated and labored for maybe an hour. Now, this is the most interesting part - I always thought that when you want to push isn't when you are supposed to push but that isn't the case. Your body tells you and makes you push... while I was in the bathroom I started grunting and I remember thinking that I shouldn't push but I couldn't help it. At that point, Bree told me to go back to the tub (i had intended to have a water birth) but I didn't want to do that - I really wanted to go home because I had changed my mind - I didn't want to do this anymore). I ended up on the bed lying on my left side with my right leg in the air. It was 6 am when I started pushing. I remember screaming but Ben said it was more of a very loud, high pitched grunt. The midwife, now Fran, and Bree told me I needed to make a lower sound when I grunt and push so I would be pushing from lower than up in my chest. At this point, I could take coaching but no response and all I wanted to do was go to sleep and just stop and, of course, I couldn't. So, when the next contraction came I grunted low and pushed. I kept doing that and then Fran told me to grab my right leg and pull it toward myself as a counterpressure to my bearing down. That was hard - Ben helped me. I knew that when Bree put her gloves on it meant that I would be close and I watched for that cue... it was all I hoped for. I also watched the clock. I know that women can push for hours on end and it was maddening, terrible, painful... When I would get a "good push" in Bree would tell me and I would do that again the next time. I remember seeing them getting out the birthing supplies and I felt a little more energy because I knew I was close. Then there was the "ring of fire" (Johnny Cash's song has a whole new meaning to me)... yep, when baby's head starts moving through my vagina. Oh my god. It was awful. I remember the period of relief coming between the contractions but in this case I had to just sit there with the head burning and wait for the next contraction. They kept asking if I wanted to feel it or if I wanted a mirror and all I could do was say something inaudible resembling "hell no". I was so afraid that if I reached down and touched it I would be discouraged because the head would only be just peeking through... but I finally reached down and the head was totally out! Oh my gawd! That is what gave me the final burst of energy to push and then they told me to just keep pushing regardless of contractions and our baby came out. She placed the baby directly on my belly and started to feed. I kept asking "What is it? What is it?" I had no energy to lift and look. They had Ben hold the baby up and he said he didn't know (He was just as overwhelmed as I was). Finally someone moved the cord and told us we had a daughter. Ben got to cut the cord. I just cried. I was so overwhelmed by what I had just experienced and the fact that the baby finally came and actually LOOKED like a baby... it was amazing.

Maxine Alexandra Ilka was born at 7:59 am. She is 7 lbs 15 oz and 21.25 inches long!

I had some minor hemorrhaging after the birth and they had to massage my uterus (ow) and put me on an Oxytocin IV drip. When they made me get up to urinate (if I didn't urinate they would have to give me a catheter (hell no)) I almost passed out and ended up spending an hour on the floor because I couldn't move.

We stayed at the birth center until 8:00 pm and then brought Maxine home to our wonderful, protective dog, welcoming cat and grandma who had made us dinner.

Ben was a magnificent partner during the labor and delivery. He was encouraging, understanding and so supportive. I think it is so important to say that... I think birth partners can be overlooked (for good reason in some cases!) and he definitely should not be. I will do my best to remind him every day of how wonderful he has been during pregnancy, labor, delivery, and, so far, parenthood.

I will keep posting all about our wonderful daughter's life with us...

Past My Due Date...

2007-09-18T14:40:00.000-07:00

Well, since I wrote the faux-news article below I have had some pretty crazy ups and downs. My due date (9/10) came and went. I have had contractions since Wed Sept 5 but no labor. I started having regular contractions on Wed 9/12 and decided to take Black Cohosh which is an herb that causes contractions and can help get labor going if you are already having some... There is a picture of me in the black tank top and skirt holding the herb... it is disgusting. I went in to the birth center that wednesday to have my membranes swept and I wasn't dialated at all which meant they couldn't do a sweep. So discouraging!
On Thursday I was talking to my good friend Martha on skype and started having semi-painful contractions! I was so excited and after an hour decided to go and lay down to start timing them... I slept through the night. So frustrating because no contractions happened after I spoke with her.
I woke up the next day so down. I started mentally preparing myself for a scheduled induction at the hospital, releasing any dreams of having a natural child birth at the birth center... blah blah blah. We went to the birth center for a check up, to schedule our appointments at the hospital, etc. My cervix was dialated 3 to 4 cm!!!! So I had them swept and the midwife said that I would be having a baby before Monday! Woo hoo! She also said that i could go home and take some castor oil to get things going. Ben and I decided to hold off on that in the hopes that labor would happen because of the membrane sweep. So, we went home to wait...

Woman Destined to be Pregnant Forever

2007-09-06T07:30:00.000-07:00

Annie Wallace of Tucson, Arizona first discovered she was pregnant in January 2007. When her due date in early September 2007 came and went she thought she was just late. However, after consulting with her doctors it appears that it is unlikely that Ms. Wallace will ever actually give birth. The characteristics of her unique uterus have baffled the doctors. Its elasticity has no bounds and, therefore, as she ages the fetus will as well. Now, whether the fetus will grow to toddler, teenage, adult sizes is yet to be determined. Scientists are thrilled to have the opportunity to observe Annie and her unusual condition. Annie has already begun consulting with authorities as to whether she will be able to have two votes once her fetus reaches 18 years and whether she will have to abstain from alcohol until the fetus is 21 years. When asked her feelings on her unique condition Annie said, "I am just s happy that I won't be like other mothers that worry about their children when they go to school or out with friends. I will always know where my baby is," as she pats and gazes lovingly at her growing belly.

Still Pregnant After All These Years

2007-08-29T11:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I am 38 weeks and 2 days... which means my due date is 1 week and 5 days away.
I have found myself singing "Still Crazy" by Paul Simon but I have changed the lyrics to "Still Pregnant"... Last Friday I realized that I would never not be pregnant. This is the new me... I will be this way forever. My friend and nurse/midwife, informed me this is the final stage of emotions before birth... so, that means I am done, right?
I had some teaser contractions this past weekend that felt like mesntral cramps. I have been taking evening primrose oil, lots of walks and drinking tea with red raspberry leaf in it. Anything I can do to get this show on the road! My friend gave me some Black Cohosh that the midwife recommends I start next week... it is supposed to make me have small contractions so I am going to ask more questions about it before I take it.
Ben and I bought a Pinot Gris and a Pinot Grigio to celebrate after the birth with. We are definitely ready!
Ben has been so awesome throughout all of this. So patient and understanding. He has taken on so much of the housework, too. I know he is as ready as I am to move on from pregnancy!
Anyhow, as you can see, I am big...

36 Weeks: Barrel Cactus and Hormones in Bloom

2007-08-13T19:43:00.001-07:00

Look how pretty the barrel cactus in our front yard is!

So, we started our birthing class, "Centering," in April. Since it has started there has been a clear separation among the participants: criers and non-criers. My insensitivity to the criers has had no boundaries in my head. There is one woman that has cried so much that the only time I have ever heard her speak is the first session... her husband has to talk for her every time because she is always crying. Of course, I am insensitive and not understanding. Well, my foot is officially in my mouth...

Sunday I had really low energy, felt sick with indigestion because my stomach is being sat on, and had all of these things I wanted to do but ended up on the couch. Ben told me to rest because most other pregnant women take tons of naps and I don't. So, I decided that was my permission slip to start watching America's Next Top Model. I started crying over the models' relationship issues and blubbering when one of them got kicked off... finally, I just turned the TV off. Ben was installing blinds in our main room and he got frustrated so I started crying. Then I started crying because I was crying. Then I was crying because I thought I would have post partum depression... the list goes on. I did laugh while I was crying because I was enough of myself to understand that it was hormones.

Anyhoo, today marks the beginning of our 36 weeks. We had our birth plan visit today. Basically we want me and the baby to be healthy... prefer to give birth naturally at the birth center and, if I am in the tub when it is time to push, have a water birth. But, I have been told that birth plans change so the more flexible you are going into it the less you will beat yourself up afterwards. I hope I really am flexible when it comes down to it (in more ways than one!).

We interviewed our first Pediatrician. Ben and I assumed it would be a no-brainer and waited until last Thursday to do it because how hard can it be? You just pick someone and then the interview is a formality, right? Well, I had such a negative reaction to this person. I always thought pediatricians were just really friendly, kid-crazy folks. If we sent our kid to this person it would be like sending it to an assembly line for pediatric care where it just gets passed from person to person like a piece of machinery. Of course, we are now scrambling to find someone we like because we need a pediatrician to see the baby withn 24 hours of birth... I'll keep you posted on this debacle.

34.5 Weeks: Pregnant Together, At Last.

2007-08-07T18:01:00.001-07:00

My sister, my nieces and brother in law came to Tucson to visit this past weekend. As you can see, Jeanne (my sister) is pregnant, too! She is due Oct 24 or 7 weeks after us.

My father bought a henna kit for us to decorate our bellies. Jeanne is protecting the henna with medical tape and mine is hanging out for all the world to see... Ben put a mathili snake on my belly.

We had a wonderful visit. My nieces are so much fun and it was great to see Jeanne and Adam. We enjoyed my parents' pool and I was able to pick my sister's brain since she is a labor and delivery nurse and lactation consultant. Bring on breastfeeding and labor now!

So, Ben and I have picked out the perfect boy name. We now have a name for a boy or a girl that we are both so happy about. It is weird because before we had a boy name that made us excited I was a little unsure as to whether I wanted a boy or not. But now that we have picked a name for a boy that we both are excited about I don't care if it is a boy or girl. I am glad to know that my uncertainty about having a boy was really about the names and not about actually the sex of the child. Phew!

In fact, our names are so cool that I think I will be bummed not use them both... maybe we should name it both of them. It won't care, right?

Nikhil's Wedding in Montana

2007-07-25T10:07:00.000-07:00

We went to our friend's wedding from Peace Corps this past weekend. I have never been to Montana! It is beautiful. Ben and I want to go back to Northern Idaho some day, too. We stayed at this really cool Tent and Breakfast, had a fun road trip with Amanda and Tyler, saw 4 moose, and hung out with good friends. This picture is of the Peace Corps Nepal crew... we didn't get the groom, Nikhil, in there, though!

Paralyzed Dog, Leg Cramps and Veterinary Predictions

2007-07-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

The day after our wonderful shower we woke up to Rana, our dog, not being able to move her back legs. She is a very athletic 4 year old with no known injuries! She is such a pampered pup and the three of us were terribly traumatized. We discovered that she had a herniated disk that caused a blood clot in her spine which caused her paralysis. She had emergency back surgery and came home two days later. We have a sling to hold up her back end while we take her out to the bathroom, etc. She is rapidly regaining movement in her hind legs but does not have strength or coordination. The doctor feels positive she will regain all of her movement back. He said this was probably caused because she is so active. So, once she is better (90 days or so) she will not be going on anymore long runs!

We took Rana to the vet to have her staples removed from her incision. The vet asked when I was due and when I told him september he gave my belly a sideways glance and said he thinks the doctor was wrong about the date. His prediction is the baby is comin' in August. Glad I am huge.

Finally, the other night I was dreaming I was eating this yummy potato salad that Ben made (everything is about food these days) and I received my first LEG CRAMP. OH MY GOD. I started screaming and flung myself across the bed and, ultimately, off of it - I don't think I actually opened my eyes until I was holding on to the bed for dear life. Ben woke up to his pregnant wife yelling and hanging off the side of the bed. He freaked out because he thought I had fallen coming back from the bathroom. All I could do was gasp, "Leg Cramp! Leg Cramp!" My sweet husband started massaging the opposite leg and then realized that my calf was so tense that veins were popping out and he started massaging that one... as it relaxed I slowly pulled myself back onto the bed and fell asleep. Thank goodness our bed is low to the floor or I may not have been able to hold on to the side for as long as I did.

Ben Nesting at 30 weeks and 6 days

2007-07-07T18:13:00.000-07:00

I made pancakes and watermelon juice this morning. Our juicer wouldn't work. These photos are of me making pancakes and Ben taking the juicer apart to remove the broken safety valve so we could make juice. There is also a photo of him making juice... we are hoping to disconnect all safety features in the house before we have a child.

Baby Shower and Outie Debut!

2007-07-04T10:07:00.000-07:00

On Saturday my parents, mother in law, sister in law, best friend from 2nd grade, and wonderful close friend from Tucson threw Ben and I shower. It was so much fun. They had a "Golden Pig" theme in honor of the Chinese Year of the Boar and Golden Pig. As you can see, my sister in law made a DELICIOUS pig cake. She is so talented. I have never really paid attention to how generous and thoughtful people are to new parents. I am so grateful and amazed at how many people came and the gifts we received. We are both still in shock from the thoughtfulness of our friends and family. If any of you are reading this now, thank you so much and it was wonderful to see you. I love parties!

My friend and former neighbor who lives in Seattle asked me to post a full-body shot with the belly. I just woke up and took this but it is pretty acccurate as to what I look like right now!

I am also taking the time to debut my outie belly button. See!

Top Ten Reasons Why Pregnant Women Are Not At Their Most Beautiful

2007-07-04T08:04:00.000-07:00

10. Throwing up anytime, anything, anywhere (including on yourself)
9. Either grow a ton of body hair or you don't grow any at all
8. Get fat and can't/shouldn't do anything about it
7. Lose all self control when eating
6. Get pimples and/or dark blemish-like skin discolorations
5. Increased gas
4. Halitosis caused by hormones and increased mucus
3. Constipation and Hemroids
2. Threat of stretch marks and varicose veins
1. Colostrum (liquid that starts leaking out of boobs)

Who has seen KNOCKED UP?

2007-06-25T16:39:00.001-07:00

Okay. I just saw Knocked Up yesterday... the movie that just came out about the couple that had a one night stand and ended up pregnant. The movie is all about pregnancy and it is pretty accurate. All of the emotions, conversations, reactions, etc that both the woman and the man had were right on... my favorites were the sex scene and the "fat cow" scene... it is ALL true. The part that disturbed me the most was the birth scene. Of course I know it is going to hurt... yada yada yada... what disturbed me was the "crowning". I know that something larger than my vaginal opening is going to force its way out... but... I didn't realize what it would look like. Before I saw the movie, I just thought that my vaginal opening would part like the red sea (ew) all peaceful and widening to make way for the baby... but... I didn't know that it would look like one of those rubber money purses (the ones with a slit down the middle that you squeeze to get the coins out) with something the size of a basketball pushing against it and TURNING IT INSIDE OUT! Honestly, I was crying in the movie theatre. I was laughing and crying at the same time... I got control of myself.. but I really think when you go to your medical provider and tell them that you are going off birth control they should be honest with you about WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOUR BODY. If I had seen that scene before we got pregnant... I wouldn't be getting pregnant any time soon. I'd get much more information about what will actually happen. I mean, I always thought I was pretty well informed but I had to go to a blockbuster movie at a theatre 29 weeks pregnant (no turning back now) to find out. I was crying. Really... tears running down my face.

Ben turned to me last night after we got home and asked for permission to not watch the live birth film that we are going to watch at our Birthing Class. He said after seeing that shocking preview of what is going to happen to my body that he would prefer to go into birth blind so he doesn't have to know that it will get worse than what he is seeing at the time. I gave him permission and told him to promise to stay at my top end during birth... I don't want his perception of my vagina to be tainted by birth.

27.5 week belly button update

2007-06-14T09:59:00.000-07:00

Well, I keep meaning to post some pictures from our trip into New Mexico's Gila Wilderness but life has been so hectic with work! I do want to do a quick update on the belly button...

So, for a while now my belly button has been flat and it has looked like a round scar on my belly. Ben and I have been eargerly waiting for it to pop out. On Monday I had to pee so badly and I waddled to the bathroom and was so excited to see that my belly button was out! YAY! Finally! I sat down to do #1, all the while admiring my new outie, and I my jaw slowly dropped as my belly button slowly deflated to a flat belly button at the same rate that I was peeing!

Fortunately, the next day my belly button found its way out again and seems to be staying out... how far it portrudes does vary on how full my stomach or bladder is, though. So weird.

As of 26.5 weeks I have gained 21 lbs... Yikes!

More later...

Annie's Belly at 24 Weeks

2007-05-20T09:37:00.000-07:00

I have been told that my belly is a lot larger than it was when I posted my first belly shot. So, here it is.

I have been feeling "malachi" kick and seeing the skin on my belly pop up when he/she does. It is so strange!

Since I posted the previous message I have transitioned to expecting a boy! I guess I will be spending equal time thoughout the pregnancy expecting one or the other. First 4.5 months I expected a girl and the last 4.5 months I will expect a boy. Go figure.

My belly button is officially on the outs... you can't see it in the photo but I am sure in the next photo it will be more prominent. So weird that the belly button pops! I wonder if it will hurt...

Ben and I have started talking about items we need to buy for the baby... this is a huge step. We actually reached a point where we realized we need to get a crib. Both of us must have come to the conclusion that all of this is REALLY happening.

I saw too of my favorite people, Amanda and Chris, last week. I am so lucky to have such great friends and I can't wait to introduce "malachi" to them. Even more, I think that the close friendships that Ben and I have will set great examples for "malachi" and her/his relationships. I had a dream the other day that I had a little girl and she was going through puberty and hated me (like most pubescent girls hate their mothers)... she told me she wanted to go to New York to visit "Auntie" Amanda. I called Amanda and informed her that my child wanted to visit and obviously had something going on... She visited Amanda and was able to talk with her about all of the things she wouldn't talk with me about... I thought it was pretty cool. I hope that my friends, sister and sister in law are able to step in when Ben and I are obviously not who our child wants to deal with! (I guess I hope more that our child skips puberty... but I will be disappointed if I expect that!).

Anyhooo, enjoy the naked photo of my belly.

A Boy or A Girl?

2007-05-09T14:33:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been thinking a lot about this. I guess I am expecting a girl (probably because I have a sister and she has two girls... it has always been girls on my side of the family). I was worried because I am "expecting" a girl that I may be disappointed if a boy slides out. So, I have been doing a little visualization exercises and imagining one or the other. I have been doing this for over a month because I want to know if I actualy do have a preference.

So, I sit and imagine I am leaning against Ben, who is helping me hold my knees by my shoulders (I don't know if that will really happen or CAN really happen... it is just what I visualize) and I am sweating and feeling an intense pressure and pain as a baby the size of watermelon squeezes through my pelvis and out comes this gooey, crying little girl. I feel (tired) a warm, "I have been expecting you," feeling and bring her to my chest to hold and hug and, yes, kiss. I am happy and calm and thrilled to meet her, finally. I am satisfied and so happy (and tired).

So, I, then, sit and imagine I am leaning against Ben... same visual image with the watermelon and my pelvis... and out comes this, gooey, crying little boy. I laugh out loud. I am surprised and happy and laughing at how my body has fooled me! I pull him to my chest and hug, squeeze, kiss and laugh all over him. I am crying because I am so happy and laughing because it is a huge adventure ahead of me.

After the most intense pain of my life... I think I will be happy feeling either way. Having that warm "I have been expecting you" feeling or joyful surprise sounds good to me. When I am visualizing and experiencing those feelings they both feel wonderful. After more than a month of regularly visualizing these two scenarios, I don't believe I have any preference as to whether our child is a boy or a girl.

Its a...OUTIE!

2007-04-27T10:17:00.000-07:00

4-27-07
Well we are half way through the pregnancy and all is well. Annie can eat almost anything and does, like last night. We went to the ball game and she ate half a bag of kettle corn popcorn. It was a really big bag, I have no photo proof of this so I’m sure she will dispute it. Now that Annie is bigger bellied (BB) she needs to actually wear gulp maternity wear. Yesterday as I opened the mailbox I was delighted to see that included in the junk mail was a clothing catalog called Mother Wear. Annie threw it away before I could fully explore the BB wear inside. From what I saw most BB women are on docks by the bay and always seem to be looking into the distance. This is most likely because they are thinking about the future.
One of the most exciting things about Annie and her BB status is that she might, just might grow an outie belly button. We can only hope. I’ve been doing a bit of outie research to find out the cost and social benefits of having an outie.
According to Herodotus the first true outie was recorded in the 5th century. Herodotus writes that “Now it happened that this Candaules was in love with his own wife; and not only so, but thought her the fairest woman in the whole world including her gorgeous outie belly button. This fancy had strange consequences. There was in his bodyguard a man whom he specially favoured, Gyges, the son of Dascylus he with the hairy testicles. All affairs of greatest moment were entrusted by Candaules to this person, and to him he was wont to extol the surpassing beauty of his wife. So matters went on for a while. At length, one day, Candaules, who was fated to end ill, thus addressed his follower: "I see thou dost not credit what I tell thee of my lady's gorgeous outie belly button; but come now, since men's ears are less credulous than their eyes, contrive some means whereby thou mayst behold her gorgeous outie belly button." At this the other loudly exclaimed, saying, "What most unwise speech is this, master, which thou hast uttered? Wouldst thou have me behold my mistress when she is showing her gorgeous outie belly button? Bethink thee that a woman, with her clothes, puts off her bashfulness. Our fathers, in time past, distinguished right and wrong plainly enough, and it is our wisdom to submit to be taught by them. There is an old saying, 'Let each look on his own gorgeous outie belly button.' I hold thy wife for the fairest of all womankind. Only, I beseech thee, ask me not to do wickedly and gaze upon her gorgeous outie belly button."
Herodotus goes on to write that though the outie was know it was not the social norm. He also makes a brief reference to Cleopatra's voluptuous outie.
The next pertinent reference to the outie is that of Henry the 5ths. The well know belly historian Semus McMustus writes in his 1957 treaties The Belly Button and Society that “…Henry had an outie that would end arguments and start them. “ He goes on to note that he had “…no less than 27 belly button cleaners and 4 belly button artist to document the protrusion which he had names Otis.” I find this case to be of most interest because of the fact that Henry was a leader of men and women and the children of these men and women. To command the legions of Italy and have such an outie or if you will permit me to use the formal Otis in reference to his belly button. Then later the French write often of the outie which they refer to in their casual snobbish way Le Belly Boootton.

The outie next “pops up” in popular culture and firmly entrenches itself in our hearts when in Winnie the Pooh episode 234 Thy Name is Winnie , Winnie is seen to sport a firm yet dapper outie. This is most likely in response to the 1941 Trenton World Fair. Winnies outie is not without its controversy, many skeptics think that the outie is being mistaken for a small erection. They hold up as evidence what Winnie does with his outie to Eeyore in episode 237 Eeyore drops the soap. I imagine that this debate will continue, you be the judge.

So as you can see we would be blessed if Annie can achieve outie status. More to come.

What to eat during pregnancy?

2007-04-26T09:09:00.000-07:00

You know, I realized this past weekend that my pregnancy nutrition would be seriously lacking if Ben wasn't around. He went away to San Francisco and I had to fend for myself... it was peanut butter and honey sandwiches, cereal and leftovers the whole weekend. When Ben is around I eat so well. He has done all of this research on foods I should be eating during my pregnancy to make our child healthy and intelligent. Each week he goes through our Cooking Light cookbook and creates a list for grocery store and then the whole week I eat these wonderfully prepared meals. For instance, Monday Ben made Fish curry and thai rice... last night he made spinach fettucine with bacon... all delicious and full of things I am supposed to consume. I am certainly not the only one being "actively" pregnant. Ben has made a huge effort to play the active partner/father role and I am so lucky. I do like peanut butter sandwiches, though...

Pregnancy Craving...

2007-04-21T09:44:00.000-07:00

Annie's appetite has grown

2007-04-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

19 weeks and 2 days...

2007-04-18T08:36:00.000-07:00

Ben and I had our ultrasound on Monday. Ben's description of the ultrasound below is pretty accurate - especially the part about me putting my foot in a bucket. So, I'll spare repeating the details. The ultrasound photos below are of 'malachi'! It is healthy, has a full tummy (as you can see in the second picture - the dark blob inthe middle of his/her belly) and all the parts moved during the ultrasound. In 5 days I will be half way done with pregnancy!

Below Ben talks about the grocery store check out bagger that told me we are having a girl. I told my friend who just had a little girl and she laughed and said that the same man bagged her groceries and told her she was having a girl. I am thinking about sending all of the women in my birthing class to the grocery store to see if he always predicts girls or if he is really psychic... or... PSYCHO!

Anyhooo, I don't have a ton to report on this blog. Ben and I are buzzing from the ultrasound. It was amazing to see all of that detail and everything moved. The baby actually looked at us which was a bit creepy because it looked like an alien skeleton. It has been punching and kicking a ton these past few days. I think it will be a long second half of the pregnancy with lots of internal bruising as this giant grows. I believe it is a giant because I was a 9 lb baby, my sister was an 11 lb baby and Ben was an 11 lb baby. So, I am not expecting any mercy from this one... my sister did mention that if I wanted a smaller baby to just start smoking.

I will keep you all posted on the progress!

Malachi at 19 weeks!

2007-04-18T08:33:00.000-07:00

Baby Radar

2007-04-17T10:40:00.000-07:00

4/17/06
I’ve been grinning for the past two days because Annie and I went and had our second ultra sound. Baby radar. It was really cool! So let me fill you in on what
happened. We headed out to the doctors office and what do you know I forgot my coffee, so we went back and got my coffee. Last time we went to this office we sat and waited for a long time, so rather than read the latest issue of pregnancy today I thought I would sip coffee. What’s neat about the office is that just about everyone that is in the place is doing the same thing namely baby radar. As each couple disappears into the back rooms of the office another emerges clutching cute little baby pictures. Our first baby radar photos were very much like radar images of a giant squid but we loved them anyhow. I had been told by two other pregnant people that this second go at the B.R. would be just the same, we would have no clue as to what we were looking at. So we went in with low expectations. Once Annie had the correct safety equipment on, goggles etc, and her hand was in a bucket of cold water to help with the transverse photo optical massaging connectivity we were ready to go. The images were great! We could see all the parts and then little malachi started moving. He she had a full stomach and all the tests came out in great!

So then she says, “Ok I’m moving down towards the butt do you guys want to know what it is….?” Over the past week two of our friends found out what they were having and one friend had a baby, so everyone was in the know, why shouldn’t we be. Annie said no. And now that the Ultra was so yesterday I’m glad we don’t know. Although the technician might of slipped up, When she started the ‘sounding’ she said “oh look at him.” I also saw a wiener but that might have been many other things. Then right afterwards we went to the grocery store and as we were checking out the bagger turned to Annie and said “You know it is a girl, right?” So according the bagger at the grocery store and my mother we are having a Girl….The plot thickens…

Bens version of events.....

2007-04-16T10:42:00.000-07:00

These posts were written awhile ago but that does not mean that they are not very very important.
3/16/07
Being pregnant is a big deal, I mean it’s going to change you life, right? I guess its not as much the pregnancy but the after pregnancy that changes your life. So I think of the pregnancy as the nine months of pre life changing. The time you get to spend think about life changing. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me first introduce My-self and my wife. Annie is the wife and I’m Ben the husband. We have been pregnant for about 15 weeks.
This brings me to one of the first points of pregnancy that I noticed. I found it really strange to tell people about the pregnancy, not because of it but more how to tell people. I would often hear people say “We are pregnant” in referring to the husband and wife. I have to say right now that I do not feel very pregnant, for the following reasons but not limited to these reasons (new ones arise all the time); I do not have strange food aversions like say to oriental food, I do not spontaneously vomit, my moods are pretty even, I do not need new cloths because my body is morphing, I’m not receiving all sorts of books in the mail about being pregnant, and I am not growing a living beer belly. I think the husband becomes more of sounding board for the pregnancy. As husbands we get to watch our wives be pregnant. I think the whole “we” in the pregnancy was made up to satisfy some politically correct pregnancy equation. I personally feel like if I say “we” that I am trying to claim some of the insane bravery and credit that Annie has to go through to create our offspring. As the husband I am not that physically effected and need I point out I can still have a beer! More on that later, I got to tell you about our friend who decide not to drink in solidarity with his wife, yeah that lasted a long time. So here is how I often stumble through the pregnancy conversation.
Me: “Hey guess what we I mean Annie and I-I mean Annie is pregnant…” and then it goes into the standard responses slightly differing if you are telling a woman or man.
But once again I’m getting ahead of myself. One of the coolest moments is when you think your wife might be pregnant. By the way I’m going to be using wife not significant other because in my case it is my wife who is pregnant. I carry no moral baggage about being unwed and having a child it’s just easier in my case to stick with the Husband Wife equation. Onward, as I was saying Annie and I first suspected she was pregnant while on vacation in Indonesia. If I remember correctly we were at a local honey stand and Annie was way past her period. I was getting excited, no not in that way, and I think that Annie was getting a bit nervous, when she went off to the bathroom. She came back and said that she didn’t think she was pregnant because and I quote “I just had a tea colored pee” this usual is the precursor to Annie’s period. I was crushed. I had sort of convinced myself that we were going to have a child and was even coming up with names for the group of cells.
So a few days went by and the period never came. Fast-forward to a beautiful resort in Kuta, Bali and we decide that if Annie is going to have fancy drinks with umbrellas we first must confirm that she is not pregnant. So we headed off to a local drug store, in one of the most fantastic malls I have ever seen. The Indonesians really like their malls. So we are in the drug store and I have this really uncomfortable feeling, like I’m trying to buy porn or condoms. Annie tentatively approaches an employee and asks if they sell pregnancy tests. He loudly says yes and pulls one out then motions to a female employee to come over and show us how it works. Not a letter of English on the box and surprisingly, other than a nice little illustration of a one legged lady who’s genitals are cut in half peeing one her hand, no instructions. I was having that feeling of buying tampons and they need to do a price check, which has never happened to me but from all the ads and movies I’ve seen involving this scenario it must happen often.
It is strange because as much as having a baby is a natural and good thing for a couple to be going through both Annie and I had the same feeling of somehow doing something illegal by asking for this pregnancy test. As if a pregnancy is a top-secret project, hence project Malachi-I’ll get to that later. Maybe there should be vending machines for these test, maybe there are. So anyhow the kind lady showed us that two lines means pregnant and one line means rum drink with bananas and umbrellas sprouting form it. This surprised me, the line indicating positive and negative not the drink, I was assuming there would be a positive sign etc… I thought that the plus sign was a universal symbol.
Here I must note that I am really happy that Annie has a great memory because about ten steps out of the drug store I forgot which was positive and negative. I don’t think we could have gone back in we would have had to find another drug store. As if we went back to the same one they would freak out “YOU ARE PREGNAT AGAIN!!!!” We went back to the hotel and Annie snapped off one of her legs and peed on her hand, per the instructions. She came out pretty quickly and yep “WE” were pregnant. I had a beer Annie had an ice tea.
3/19/07
So once you know that you are pregnant then you have to spend the next 12 weeks pretending that you are not. I call this stage the “Annie has giardia stage” because that’s what we told everyone that asked why Annie didn’t want a glass of wine. Or she was really inexplicitly tired. She must have been on a serious antibiotics regiment. Normal humans would respond “oh yeah you shouldn’t drink on antibiotics.” While our peace corps friends would just say “So…?” Once you are able to tell people about the pregnancy they all say “Oh I knew, that one time when…” followed by some tale about when they “knew “ you were pregnant. The truth is they had no idea.
So anyhow you are not meant to tell people that you are pregnant until the 12th week in the very unfortunate chance that your wife might have a miscarriage. This happens and is sad and the truth is that I thought and worried about it a lot. Once I thought that I was going to be a dad I really started making plans. Annie and I spent these few weeks with a secret making plans that we could not share with anyone else. This is frustrating so we decided to tell people.
So what do you do, well phone up the parents, but who first. We didn’t want one side to know before the other. Luckily with the aid of modern technology we each have our own cell phone. Back in the day they must of sent messengers at the same moment hoping that they had similarly tuned horses. I head off to one room and Annie another and we make the calls. Coming back together to switch phones and parents. Lost of congratulations and words of encouragement. I believe that Annie’s mom said she was this close to having a “talk” with here about her responsibilities as a woman if she hadn’t reproduced within the year. Oh and of course both sides claimed to already know!
We then spent the next week telling all the friends and relatives. These conversations, for me, get very tiring, kind of like those conversation you have in elementary school after summer break. You know that after telling the tenth person that you went to camp for the tenth time it starts to get a bit repetitive. Annie would go into long detail of people’s reaction and then turn to me and say “What did so and so say about it?” Almost everyone says the same thing so I’ve condensed it to save time. I would respond “They were excited.” This is not good enough for Annie. “What else did they say?” she would beg of me. “Um…They were excited.” She has stopped asking me.
So now everyone knows the secret is out…what’s next? Morning sickness!

18 weeks and 5 Days

2007-04-14T12:56:00.000-07:00

Ben and I discovered we were pregnant in Kuta, Indonesia on the island of Bali. We were staying at the Santika Beach Resort waiting for our friends, Amanda and Tyler, to arrive. We purchased an Indonesian over the counter pregnancy test called "Sensitiv". I had never taken a test before and the directions were in Indonesian... so, I followed the pictures and, luckily, the ladies at the store had pointed at one picture of potential results and repeated "yes, yes" so, I was fairly confident which symbol was positive.

Ben tried to help me decide the proper procedure and we decided that standing askew with the test in my urine flow would do the trick. I remember yelling from the bathroom, "I am now standing askew!" I don't think either of us actually thought we were pregnant... we were wrong. We went swimming in the pool with the swim-up bar and I remember swimming having a mixture of thoughts including knowing that my life would never be the same, surprise that I was actually able to do it and damn I can't celebrate with a pina colada! I've spent so long trying NOT to be pregnant and it is quite a drastic and immediate transition to being pregnant.

Anyhooo, the subsequent 3.5 months SUCKED. I threw up daily for a period of time and then sporadically... I am now 15 days without vomiting and 10 pounds heavier. I haven't had any alcohol since the first week of January and Thursday April 12 was the first day that I actually looked at my belly and admired it. The "morning" sickness (there is nothing "morning" about it) was so miserable that I had difficulty admiring the changes my body has been experiencing and I pretty much viewed my belly as the source of all bad feelings. Now, instead of praying this will be over fast I am starting to be entertained by my growing, hairy belly, feeling kicks and enjoying our child's protest when I exercise.

Photo: Annie's Belly

2007-04-14T12:45:00.000-07:00