So, the day I had my membranes swept Ben and I waited anxiously for the labor that never came. I was reaching 41 weeks (1 week past my due date) and would have to start having appointments at the hospital to do a non-stress test, amniotic fluid check and schedule and induction for Thursday 9/20. This is all absolutely not what I wanted but was becoming more and more resigned to it. So, in our last ditch effort to avoid the hospital procedure and potential medical intervention, I took castor oil on Sunday 9/16.
It was recommended by the midwife. If you take between 2 to 4 oz you will cause yourself to have diarrhea which can get the uterus contracting. Now, I was nervous about doing this and worried that it would be harmful, etc etc etc. We both researched castor oil and decided that so many people wouldn't swear by it and the midwife wouldn't recommend it if it was terribly dangerous. I just knew that I would have to be very conscious of staying hydrated. So, we mixed frozen orange juice and vanilla ice cream with 2 oz of castor oil. Anyone that believes that castor oil gives you horrible, severe diarrhea has never traveled to the developing world before! It was nothin'! I was laughing on the toilet because It was so pain-free and mild.
I had taken the castor oil at 8:00 am and by 6:00 pm I had completely flushed it out of my system and no contractions, of course. Oh well... we decided that it probably wasn't going to work but decided that i should take one more ounce and then just prepare for our hospital appointments the next morning. I had a little bit of diarrhea and then we went to bed at 10 pm.
I woke up at 11 with some contractions but it was nothing, I was sure, and went back to sleep. At midnight I woke to a painful contraction (I laugh at "painful" now) and was still convinced it was a false alarm like the contractions I had been having for the past week and a half. Nonetheless, I started timing them... they were 8 minutes apart. I decided to take a bath and see how and if they progressed. By 1:30 am I woke up Ben and told him I was having regular contractions and he got up with me to time them. By 2:30 am they were painful enough that I couldn't talk or walk during them and they were anywhere from 3 to 5.5 minutes apart. We decided to call the birth center.
We got there by 3:30 am and the midwife, Jenna, checked my cervix and it was 6 cm dialated! Only 4 more to go! I climbed into the tub and that is when they started getting really intense. I was holding onto Ben and the tub and my only relief was the few minutes between the contractions. That period is a godsend and if there is a name for that time I need to know it because it was what kept me sane. The contractions got so intense and painful that I just rested and focused on myself and staying quite, still and calm during the relief period. I was aware of people and conversations occurring around me but I couldn't participate and didn't respond to anyone or anything... was totally focused and I believe that is called "being in Laborland."
By 5 am, Bree (our friend from Peace Corps and nurse/midwife) checked my cervix and it was already dialated to 8 cm. This was amazing... I knew that my labor was progressing very quickly and that, even though I found myself considering it in my mind, I couldn't get meds because I was moving so fast. There was very little chance of a 24 hour labor or something else mammoth like that - to all the women that have had hours and hours of labor, you are rock stars.
Bree informed me that I had to urinate and I was so not wanting to get out of the tub but between contractions we moved me to the toilet where I urinated and labored for maybe an hour. Now, this is the most interesting part - I always thought that when you want to push isn't when you are supposed to push but that isn't the case. Your body tells you and makes you push... while I was in the bathroom I started grunting and I remember thinking that I shouldn't push but I couldn't help it. At that point, Bree told me to go back to the tub (i had intended to have a water birth) but I didn't want to do that - I really wanted to go home because I had changed my mind - I didn't want to do this anymore). I ended up on the bed lying on my left side with my right leg in the air. It was 6 am when I started pushing. I remember screaming but Ben said it was more of a very loud, high pitched grunt. The midwife, now Fran, and Bree told me I needed to make a lower sound when I grunt and push so I would be pushing from lower than up in my chest. At this point, I could take coaching but no response and all I wanted to do was go to sleep and just stop and, of course, I couldn't. So, when the next contraction came I grunted low and pushed. I kept doing that and then Fran told me to grab my right leg and pull it toward myself as a counterpressure to my bearing down. That was hard - Ben helped me. I knew that when Bree put her gloves on it meant that I would be close and I watched for that cue... it was all I hoped for. I also watched the clock. I know that women can push for hours on end and it was maddening, terrible, painful... When I would get a "good push" in Bree would tell me and I would do that again the next time. I remember seeing them getting out the birthing supplies and I felt a little more energy because I knew I was close. Then there was the "ring of fire" (Johnny Cash's song has a whole new meaning to me)... yep, when baby's head starts moving through my vagina. Oh my god. It was awful. I remember the period of relief coming between the contractions but in this case I had to just sit there with the head burning and wait for the next contraction. They kept asking if I wanted to feel it or if I wanted a mirror and all I could do was say something inaudible resembling "hell no". I was so afraid that if I reached down and touched it I would be discouraged because the head would only be just peeking through... but I finally reached down and the head was totally out! Oh my gawd! That is what gave me the final burst of energy to push and then they told me to just keep pushing regardless of contractions and our baby came out. She placed the baby directly on my belly and started to feed. I kept asking "What is it? What is it?" I had no energy to lift and look. They had Ben hold the baby up and he said he didn't know (He was just as overwhelmed as I was). Finally someone moved the cord and told us we had a daughter. Ben got to cut the cord. I just cried. I was so overwhelmed by what I had just experienced and the fact that the baby finally came and actually LOOKED like a baby... it was amazing.
Maxine Alexandra Ilka was born at 7:59 am. She is 7 lbs 15 oz and 21.25 inches long!
I had some minor hemorrhaging after the birth and they had to massage my uterus (ow) and put me on an Oxytocin IV drip. When they made me get up to urinate (if I didn't urinate they would have to give me a catheter (hell no)) I almost passed out and ended up spending an hour on the floor because I couldn't move.
We stayed at the birth center until 8:00 pm and then brought Maxine home to our wonderful, protective dog, welcoming cat and grandma who had made us dinner.
Ben was a magnificent partner during the labor and delivery. He was encouraging, understanding and so supportive. I think it is so important to say that... I think birth partners can be overlooked (for good reason in some cases!) and he definitely should not be. I will do my best to remind him every day of how wonderful he has been during pregnancy, labor, delivery, and, so far, parenthood.
I will keep posting all about our wonderful daughter's life with us...
