A Boy or A Girl?

Well, I have been thinking a lot about this. I guess I am expecting a girl (probably because I have a sister and she has two girls... it has always been girls on my side of the family). I was worried because I am "expecting" a girl that I may be disappointed if a boy slides out. So, I have been doing a little visualization exercises and imagining one or the other. I have been doing this for over a month because I want to know if I actualy do have a preference.

So, I sit and imagine I am leaning against Ben, who is helping me hold my knees by my shoulders (I don't know if that will really happen or CAN really happen... it is just what I visualize) and I am sweating and feeling an intense pressure and pain as a baby the size of watermelon squeezes through my pelvis and out comes this gooey, crying little girl. I feel (tired) a warm, "I have been expecting you," feeling and bring her to my chest to hold and hug and, yes, kiss. I am happy and calm and thrilled to meet her, finally. I am satisfied and so happy (and tired).

So, I, then, sit and imagine I am leaning against Ben... same visual image with the watermelon and my pelvis... and out comes this, gooey, crying little boy. I laugh out loud. I am surprised and happy and laughing at how my body has fooled me! I pull him to my chest and hug, squeeze, kiss and laugh all over him. I am crying because I am so happy and laughing because it is a huge adventure ahead of me.

After the most intense pain of my life... I think I will be happy feeling either way. Having that warm "I have been expecting you" feeling or joyful surprise sounds good to me. When I am visualizing and experiencing those feelings they both feel wonderful. After more than a month of regularly visualizing these two scenarios, I don't believe I have any preference as to whether our child is a boy or a girl.