90th Percentile and Stress Incontinence

Yes. As the title to this blog shows... birth is the gift that keeps on giving. I went for a run a few weeks ago and peed myself... I didn't know I had to go, it was just like my urethra opened up like a water slide. The midwife told me that it may be a one time thing and maybe running on the road because of the high impact did it. So, I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill. It felt great! I ran for 25 minutes then did some weights... it felt like I was back! When I got home I discovered that I had peed myself, soaked the overnight pad I had put on just in case (the ones that stretch from your belly button to your lower back). The stain on my pants was huge with a dry spot in the middle shaped like the pad. I am now in physical therapy... if anything else happens I may just need plain therapy. I go through thinking it is funny and not a big deal to being angry about everything that has happened (pregnancy to this). But, (prepare to roll your eyes and gag) one look at Maxine makes it all fade into the background... even the hemorrhoids (Was that too much?).

Maxine has been smiling so much. She is, most of the time, such a happy baby. Many of the following pictures re of her crying and yelling and I think we have taken those photos because they are so cute. But, in general, she is full of smiles. She crinkles her nose up and her eyes curve up into the shape of a rainbows. I can't wait to hear her laugh. She is so close... A week and a half ago she noticed her right hand for the first time. I was changing her diaper and she was totally quiet. I looked up and she was just staring at her fist like it just showed up right then! This past Wednesday she finally noticed the left hand and her expression read, "There is ANOTHER one?!"


Maxine went to her 2 month appt three days ago and got her shots (ow). She was weighed and measured and her head size and weight are in the 90th percentile (Martha and Ryan, you can now compare things to the size of Maxine's head, too... she takes after her momma). Her height is the 60th percentile. I asked the doctor if her weight being in the 90th percentile meant she is fat and he said, "There is no such thing as a fat baby." So diplomatic.

She has been doing a lot of tummy time (she sort of hates it). Her neck is getting so strong and I don't know what I will do whens she rolls over for the first time. Because she is starting to notice things more her grandma Gerry got her a mobile for her bed. We can now lay her down, totally awake, and she will just stare, smile and coo at the little fuzzy birds above her bed. So neat.


As you know, Ben is Mr. Mom. I have tried working from home as much as I can and when I do I get glimpses of Ben's and Maxine's day together... here is what I have observed.


So, Maxine had her first Halloween and she was going to be a little leopard. As you can see her costume was too small... probably because of that 90th percentile thing. Maxine also had her first Thanksgiving and it was hosted at her Grandma and Grandpa Wallace's home. It was so yummy. We have been visiting the cabin in the White Mountains regularly. The photo in the right upper corner is us there after we finally moved furniture into it. It is so cozy. And the bottom picture is of Uncle Nick and Maxine. He has such a way with children.


Grandpa Jim is so much fun. He plays with Maxine while she is on her Ikea mat playing and doing tummy time. He also loves to hold Maxine...


Maxine went to her first Day of the Dead parade the first weekend of November. Tucson really knows how to do it. I love the costumes, masks and floats. We went with Kelly, Patrick, Evie, Uncle Nick, Grandpa Jim and Grandma Chris. Next year maybe we will dress Maxine up and walk in the procession.

6 Weeks: Asleep and Smiling

When Maxine sleeps I have seen her arms and legs pop up over the bassinet edge and just hang out there. When I go to see if she is awake she isn't... her legs and arms are just straight up in the air. Here are some photos of her sleeping... she looks like she is bring held up!

Maxine also has started smiling at us - she was smiling before but it was in her sleep or when she poo'd. Now she actually smiles AT US. It is adorable because she goes crossed eyed and gets this huge grin on her face. So cute.

I went back to work today. The worst part was the build up to going back to work. All this past weekend I was like, "I am not ready." I was getting worked up in the preparation with going back. This morning was tough because I didn't want to leave her and Ben. I pumped milk so Ben would have some fresh on top of the frozen milk I have stocked up. I breastfed and then I took off. Once I was in the car and making the familiar drive to work I was fine. Plus, there is so much going on that I didn't have much time to sit around and worry. Pumping and work was not too bad... helps that I have a lock on my office door. I called Ben and, of course, they were fine. I made it home for lunch and to breast feed - I want to breast feed as much as possible to avoid having to supplement with formula too early. I am not really planning to supplement but every working mom I have spoken with had to supplement after a while because they just didn't produce enough through pumping. So, I want to prolong having to do that... I informed the staff that I would be working from home more often than I normally would for the next 6 weeks (she will be 3 months then). I hope I am lucky and am able to provide only breastmilk for a very long time but I understand that I may have to do a combination in a few months... we will deal with that when it comes.

Hopefully, Maxine will continue to be such a good sleeper... she gets me up anywhere from 1 to 4 times night which is better than every hour! I am tired and have to think harder about what comes out of my mouth - sentence structure, etc - but today was doable and I think I had to get through today to understand that I can do it! Yep, we have moved on to a new phase - "Post-Maternity Leave." Stay tuned for stories on Ben being Mr. Mom...

5 Weeks Old!

Maxine is 5 weeks today! We left 10 days ago for our "Baby Moon". We rented a house in Truth or Consequences New Mexico... the house was right on the Rio Grande with a private hot spring overlooking it. What better way to learn to take care of baby?? We still get little sleep but being someplace we can relax and enjoy our surroundings has been wonderful. Truth or Consequences is an unfortunate town with a lot of potential... luckily we had our little oasis and lacked the energy to really venture out. Our time was spent there taking care of baby, reading, fishing and soaking. So nice.
Now we are in the White Mountains in Arizona. Ben's mom just purchased this cabin. It is fantastic - not furnished yet - but fantastic! We have been sitting by the fire, watching the geese in the pond and the elk cross the valley... it is great. Tomorrow we return to Tucson and I will post more often. I have so much to write about and so little time to write in... in fact, I can hear Maxine waking and filling her diaper as I write... enjoy the photos (Ben and I were trying to teach Maxine to roll on to her belly and back...)

Memoirs of a Factory Cow

So, I breastfed today and last night and yesterday and the night before... it's what I do. Last night was actually pretty awesome because she slept from 8:30 pm to 3:30 am - that is SIX hours! Of course, I was awake because my breasts had filled and were heavy and leaking and I was worried about why Maxine hadn't woken up to eat yet! Really, I breast feed and then if I want to work out or run an errand I have to leave immediately after the feeding and get my a** back to the house in an hour and a half or we run the risk of a serious hunger problem. I actually have started trying to pump in between feedings so there is milk stored for Ben to feed her if I don't make it back in time. Days I pump are all about the boobs... they are either in her mouth or hooked up to the machine. It has taken me a while (and several conversations with my lactation consultant sister) to understand that I won't run out of breast milk - I was worried if I pumped that i would be taking away from the next feeding. My sister has informed me that breasts produce based on demand. If they are asked to produce by baby or machine they produce (jeanne, did I get it right?). Yesterday she had a marathon feed - like 4 hours - and everyone says it was probably a "growth spurt"... my boobs were so sore. I have never been so aware of my breasts until now...
The pictures above of Maxine in the green diaper are her doing her morning exercises and interpretive dancing. These pictures were actually taken the Friday after she was born and I was so impressed with how active and happy she was - she was very focused on her moves. Little did I know she was working up her first Poo! It was memorable and LOUD! Nice job Maxine... good to know the pipes work. Since the first poo there have been many... I have seen them all.

34B to 36D (Booyakasha!)

So, I have tried to sit down and update the blog with all of the photos we have been taking. I have learned, however, that parenthood means that you are lucky to get even 60% of what you intend completed in a day. The blog has suffered... I will be better.

Since Maxine was born we have had some pretty LARGE changes... my milk came in and I am now a 36D (whoop! whoop!), Maxine had her first bath - which she just LOVED, as you can see, we visited the Pediatrician and she gained 1 lb since milk started flowing, her sleep schedule bogglesthe mind and we just pray for her to continue with the 4 to 5 hour sleeps at night (last night was wonderful), Maxine has been out to three restaurants (yum!), her head and neck control are great, we have tummy time daily, and she already aced her SATs (Suckas!). Okay, she hasn't taken the SATs but she is absolutely adorable... she kicks and does exercises every morning (signature move: windmill arm). Her first poo was incredible... I mean, when the milk comes in and the newborn has its first milk poo it makes sure it is memorable. I had it on my arms and belly and side. It seems that anytime Maxine has a "Poo-splosion" I am the one on duty (or "Dooty" - hah). How has Ben so cleverly avoided the leaky poos?

I have also learned that I cannot dress my child... I was in tears I was laughing so hard at the "warm" outfit I threw on her for an evening walk... Blue Zoot pants, Canada hat and onesie - nice job, Mom.

Until I can figure out how to post pictures in between the text all of my entries will be this long list of photos. I will call my blog-genius friend Kelly to help me through this...

Castor Oil = Maxine

So, the day I had my membranes swept Ben and I waited anxiously for the labor that never came. I was reaching 41 weeks (1 week past my due date) and would have to start having appointments at the hospital to do a non-stress test, amniotic fluid check and schedule and induction for Thursday 9/20. This is all absolutely not what I wanted but was becoming more and more resigned to it. So, in our last ditch effort to avoid the hospital procedure and potential medical intervention, I took castor oil on Sunday 9/16.

It was recommended by the midwife. If you take between 2 to 4 oz you will cause yourself to have diarrhea which can get the uterus contracting. Now, I was nervous about doing this and worried that it would be harmful, etc etc etc. We both researched castor oil and decided that so many people wouldn't swear by it and the midwife wouldn't recommend it if it was terribly dangerous. I just knew that I would have to be very conscious of staying hydrated. So, we mixed frozen orange juice and vanilla ice cream with 2 oz of castor oil. Anyone that believes that castor oil gives you horrible, severe diarrhea has never traveled to the developing world before! It was nothin'! I was laughing on the toilet because It was so pain-free and mild.

I had taken the castor oil at 8:00 am and by 6:00 pm I had completely flushed it out of my system and no contractions, of course. Oh well... we decided that it probably wasn't going to work but decided that i should take one more ounce and then just prepare for our hospital appointments the next morning. I had a little bit of diarrhea and then we went to bed at 10 pm.

I woke up at 11 with some contractions but it was nothing, I was sure, and went back to sleep. At midnight I woke to a painful contraction (I laugh at "painful" now) and was still convinced it was a false alarm like the contractions I had been having for the past week and a half. Nonetheless, I started timing them... they were 8 minutes apart. I decided to take a bath and see how and if they progressed. By 1:30 am I woke up Ben and told him I was having regular contractions and he got up with me to time them. By 2:30 am they were painful enough that I couldn't talk or walk during them and they were anywhere from 3 to 5.5 minutes apart. We decided to call the birth center.

We got there by 3:30 am and the midwife, Jenna, checked my cervix and it was 6 cm dialated! Only 4 more to go! I climbed into the tub and that is when they started getting really intense. I was holding onto Ben and the tub and my only relief was the few minutes between the contractions. That period is a godsend and if there is a name for that time I need to know it because it was what kept me sane. The contractions got so intense and painful that I just rested and focused on myself and staying quite, still and calm during the relief period. I was aware of people and conversations occurring around me but I couldn't participate and didn't respond to anyone or anything... was totally focused and I believe that is called "being in Laborland."

By 5 am, Bree (our friend from Peace Corps and nurse/midwife) checked my cervix and it was already dialated to 8 cm. This was amazing... I knew that my labor was progressing very quickly and that, even though I found myself considering it in my mind, I couldn't get meds because I was moving so fast. There was very little chance of a 24 hour labor or something else mammoth like that - to all the women that have had hours and hours of labor, you are rock stars.

Bree informed me that I had to urinate and I was so not wanting to get out of the tub but between contractions we moved me to the toilet where I urinated and labored for maybe an hour. Now, this is the most interesting part - I always thought that when you want to push isn't when you are supposed to push but that isn't the case. Your body tells you and makes you push... while I was in the bathroom I started grunting and I remember thinking that I shouldn't push but I couldn't help it. At that point, Bree told me to go back to the tub (i had intended to have a water birth) but I didn't want to do that - I really wanted to go home because I had changed my mind - I didn't want to do this anymore). I ended up on the bed lying on my left side with my right leg in the air. It was 6 am when I started pushing. I remember screaming but Ben said it was more of a very loud, high pitched grunt. The midwife, now Fran, and Bree told me I needed to make a lower sound when I grunt and push so I would be pushing from lower than up in my chest. At this point, I could take coaching but no response and all I wanted to do was go to sleep and just stop and, of course, I couldn't. So, when the next contraction came I grunted low and pushed. I kept doing that and then Fran told me to grab my right leg and pull it toward myself as a counterpressure to my bearing down. That was hard - Ben helped me. I knew that when Bree put her gloves on it meant that I would be close and I watched for that cue... it was all I hoped for. I also watched the clock. I know that women can push for hours on end and it was maddening, terrible, painful... When I would get a "good push" in Bree would tell me and I would do that again the next time. I remember seeing them getting out the birthing supplies and I felt a little more energy because I knew I was close. Then there was the "ring of fire" (Johnny Cash's song has a whole new meaning to me)... yep, when baby's head starts moving through my vagina. Oh my god. It was awful. I remember the period of relief coming between the contractions but in this case I had to just sit there with the head burning and wait for the next contraction. They kept asking if I wanted to feel it or if I wanted a mirror and all I could do was say something inaudible resembling "hell no". I was so afraid that if I reached down and touched it I would be discouraged because the head would only be just peeking through... but I finally reached down and the head was totally out! Oh my gawd! That is what gave me the final burst of energy to push and then they told me to just keep pushing regardless of contractions and our baby came out. She placed the baby directly on my belly and started to feed. I kept asking "What is it? What is it?" I had no energy to lift and look. They had Ben hold the baby up and he said he didn't know (He was just as overwhelmed as I was). Finally someone moved the cord and told us we had a daughter. Ben got to cut the cord. I just cried. I was so overwhelmed by what I had just experienced and the fact that the baby finally came and actually LOOKED like a baby... it was amazing.

Maxine Alexandra Ilka was born at 7:59 am. She is 7 lbs 15 oz and 21.25 inches long!

I had some minor hemorrhaging after the birth and they had to massage my uterus (ow) and put me on an Oxytocin IV drip. When they made me get up to urinate (if I didn't urinate they would have to give me a catheter (hell no)) I almost passed out and ended up spending an hour on the floor because I couldn't move.

We stayed at the birth center until 8:00 pm and then brought Maxine home to our wonderful, protective dog, welcoming cat and grandma who had made us dinner.

Ben was a magnificent partner during the labor and delivery. He was encouraging, understanding and so supportive. I think it is so important to say that... I think birth partners can be overlooked (for good reason in some cases!) and he definitely should not be. I will do my best to remind him every day of how wonderful he has been during pregnancy, labor, delivery, and, so far, parenthood.

I will keep posting all about our wonderful daughter's life with us...

Past My Due Date...

Well, since I wrote the faux-news article below I have had some pretty crazy ups and downs. My due date (9/10) came and went. I have had contractions since Wed Sept 5 but no labor. I started having regular contractions on Wed 9/12 and decided to take Black Cohosh which is an herb that causes contractions and can help get labor going if you are already having some... There is a picture of me in the black tank top and skirt holding the herb... it is disgusting. I went in to the birth center that wednesday to have my membranes swept and I wasn't dialated at all which meant they couldn't do a sweep. So discouraging!
On Thursday I was talking to my good friend Martha on skype and started having semi-painful contractions! I was so excited and after an hour decided to go and lay down to start timing them... I slept through the night. So frustrating because no contractions happened after I spoke with her.
I woke up the next day so down. I started mentally preparing myself for a scheduled induction at the hospital, releasing any dreams of having a natural child birth at the birth center... blah blah blah. We went to the birth center for a check up, to schedule our appointments at the hospital, etc. My cervix was dialated 3 to 4 cm!!!! So I had them swept and the midwife said that I would be having a baby before Monday! Woo hoo! She also said that i could go home and take some castor oil to get things going. Ben and I decided to hold off on that in the hopes that labor would happen because of the membrane sweep. So, we went home to wait...